FF: Today is [FF's significant other]'s birthday.

We went to REI last night. They have the same policy as LL Bean. The policy I protested to you for years. One of the stoner REI employees (a camping specialist, go figure) explained it to us in great detail (he used the word 'Dude' nearly a dozen times). I never really understood how you were able to get away with what you did in terms of returns to LL Bean. Now I understand. Ten years from now, if FFSO doesn't like his new Garmin Running Watch because he stops running and gains 100 pounds, we can return it. No questions asked. We just need to keep the receipt for 10 years. Freakin' tree huggers....

DAVE: Wish FFSO a happy birthday for me. How old is he?

REI is cool, although very pricey, as I'm sure you know. The key to having to make returns to stores with lifetime guarantees is that you have to keep the receipt. Without it, you're screwed.

FF: The big 3-5. Halfway to 40 from 30.

REI IS pricey. You said it! But those 'dudes' are so nice and helpful. They live for that shit. Mr. Dude Camping expert told me he has lit his sleeping bag on fire numerous times and has had it replaced numerous times. For free. He had the receipt tattooed to his buttock.