Tuesday, July 29, 2014

DAVE: I learned yesterday that Ashton Kutcher is engaged to Mila Kunis, who I think is very hot. First, Demi Moore, and now Mila Kunis. Lucky fucking bastard.

JIM: Be respectful. I think he's earned that now.

Monday, July 28, 2014

DAVE: The reason why I don’t watch many Pirate games, and the reason why I refuse to become emotionally attached to the team is because they are what they are, and the ownership shows no signs of making real, impactful changes. PNC Park is selling out almost every night (without fireworks), and there is no reason for ownership to do anything. It’s nice that the Pirates are doing as well as they are, and I am happy for the players and the fans. But ultimately, the terrible ownership will not do what needs to be done to truly field the best team that they can. There is even some debate about whether they will even sign Neil Walker. That’s just pathetic.

JIM: Nice rant. You should put it on your blog.

DAVE: Done.

DAVE: Although, I must admit, that at this point, I suspect that you’re the only person who reads my blog.

JIM: I guess maybe that doesn't say much for either of us.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

In all seriousness, it is hard to say "pianist" without it sounding like "penis." Am I wrong?

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

DAVE: Who do you like in tonight’s All-Star Game? I think the National League will win [They lost].

JIM: I would like to see the NL win [They lost].

My kids both booed Derek Jeter when he was introduced. What is up with that?

DAVE: That’s weird. I thought everyone at least liked Derek Jeter. I don’t really care. He's a Yankee. 

JIM: Yeah. I was just surprised at the Jeter backlash from young kids.

DAVE: Did you ask them why they don’t like Derek Jeter?

JIM: My daughter said because he's a Yankee.

I guess you can't argue with that.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

DAVE: How much is gasoline in your area? It is $3.90 here and has been for most of the summer. Meanwhile, when I was down in Florida, it was $3.35. We in Pennsylvania have rather high gas taxes, and they're talking about raising them so that they can fix roads and bridges. I'm pretty sure that's what they said the last time they raised the gas tax. Crooked politicians.

JIM: I don't know. I think I paid $3.73 earlier today.

Crooked politicians. They want people to conserve energy so we are less dependent on foreign oil. And they force car manufacturers to meet higher and higher mpg standards. So I buy a Prius to do my part. Now, there are states deciding that people driving hybrids aren't paying their share in gas taxes so they are going to charge an annual fee in order to own a hybrid. Unbelievable.

DAVE: That is unbelievable. And very republican.

JIM: They are all crooks.

DAVE: I know.

JIM: Do you?

DAVE: I do.

Monday, July 14, 2014

DAVE: I’ve been a little constipated this week, so tonight I drank some Metamucil for the first time in my life. Does that make me old?

JIM: I'm not sure. How did that work out for you?

Did I tell you we bought a Nutribullet a few months ago? So now for breakfast every morning I make a Nutribullet shake, usually with spinach plus whatever fruits we have around. And I always put flaxseed in it. Does that make me old?

DAVE: It worked.

No, you didn’t tell me. I guess you like the shakes, huh? They must help keep you regular.