Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The temperatures around here have plummeted, it rains everyday, and the stink bugs seem to have disappeared. But a couple of nights ago, I did see a black woolly caterpillar in my parents' backyard while I was playing with Sidney. It was the first woolly caterpillar I have seen in years. Years, I tell you. What does that mean, again, according to legend? A bad winter? Super.

But, dear readers, I feel compelled to tell you that I have been feeling very good lately. Great, even, at times. I haven't felt this good in two years, and I am really enjoying life these days. Thank god for medication and keeping busy.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I did not sleep well last night. I was tossing and turning. And I dreamt that God spoke to me. He told me that I had to build an ark. I'm really not very good with tools.

Friday, September 25, 2009

JIM: Stink bugs are everywhere.

DAVE: But how do they get inside? I understand how spiders get inside. They're small and creepy-crawly. But stink bugs have that armored plate on their backs.

JIM: All I can tell you is that stink bugs are everywhere.

DAVE: Do you know why they are called stink bugs?

JIM: Because it stinks that there are so many of them and they are everywhere?

DAVE: Very funny.

JIM: I don't know what else to tell you. Here, lmgtfy:

DAVE: Uh . . . what does "lmgtfy" stand for?

JIM: Sorry. See if this helps:

DAVE: AHHH. I should have been able to figure that out. How crazy. A site that Googles Google.
How do these freaking so-called "stink bugs" get into my condo? My windows are closed, and yet there they are.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Or Jennifer Antkowiak.
I do not like Tom Bergeron.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

JIM: Well, it seems our conversation about boxer briefs is kind of timely.

I went to the gym this morning for a run and then showered after. When I went to get dressed after showering, I started to put on my nice, clean pair of boxer briefs and suddenly, to my horror, realized that they were way too small. Turns out, my wife did laundry and put the clothes away yesterday and ended up putting a pair of my 9-year-old son's underwear in my drawer. When I was getting clothes together to go to the gym, I just grabbed the pair on top and didn't notice they were not mine. When it comes to boxer briefs, mine and my son's do look very much alike without close inspection.

This never would have happened with my old, trusty tighty whiteys.

DAVE: That's a very funny (and timely) story. I didn't know they made boxer briefs for the young ones, but I guess there's no reason why they wouldn't. You wife does your laundry and puts your clothes away. It sounds so foreign to me.

JIM: She does the laundry (she actually doesn't ALLOW me to do laundry!) and I usually put the clothes away. But, now that both kids are in school full time, I guess she is finding that she has lots of free time during the day and needed something to do.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Absolutely gorgeous day today in Pittsburgh. Perfect day. Truly. And how did I celebrate such a wonderful day? Not unlike a woman, I went out and bought a new pair of shoes. I needed a pair of shoes that was more comfortable than the shoes that I regularly wear. And this is what I came home with (actually, I wore them right out of the store, and I have them on right now). They are very un-Dave. I love them.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

DAVE: Do you really like boxer briefs? I'm wearing a pair right now.

JIM: That's more than I needed to know.

I wear whatever my wife buys me and I learn to like it.

DAVE: Really? Your wife buys your underwear?

JIM: You don't know much about wives, do you?

DAVE: Some things. But obviously not everything. Dude, you should be able to pick out and buy your own underwear.

JIM: That's not going to happen.

DAVE: Maybe it's best if I stay single, then.

JIM: I've come to realize that what's going to happen is going to happen when it comes to things like that. You really don't have as much control over it as it seems like you should.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Although Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger are both among the best quarterbacks in the NFL, there are many things that are different about the two. For instance, Ben Roethlisberger did not emerge from the off-season with a new personal logo that he wears on a hat every time that he does an interview.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

False alarm. It looks like summer may have returned today. I was a little worried last week.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

What happened to summer? I'm wearing corduroys and a turtleneck right now.

Friday, September 11, 2009

As I've been saying for the last year, Willie Parker is done. He's a great guy and has been a very productive running back for the Steelers, but the lifespan of a running back in the NFL is short, and his time has come and gone. Even without him, the Steelers will find a way to win, just as they did last year, and just as they did last night. Ben Roethlisberger is the man.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I've decided that I like boxer briefs. There, I admit it.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Different shades of white.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

DAVE: I have tried changing the settings on Facebook, but when I log on, my home page is always filled with a news feed of what every one of my friends has done/is doing. You may have to take a look at it, old buddy, old pal. Next time you're here. To see my new lamps.

FF: I'll help you. Facebook virgin.
JIM: My mom told me tonight that she has a bunch of boxes of my old stuff that I have to go through. Maybe she reads your blog...

DAVE: Hilarious. I went through a box of baseball and football cards tonight. Just took the boxes of cards out of an old moving box and put them into a nice, new plastic container. As I've said, I have no idea what I'm going to do with all of these baseball cards.

JIM: My friend Grant used to own a baseball card shop.

DAVE: I remember Grant. How did the shop go?

JIM: He did OK, but closed it after a few years. It would be too long of a story to tell. Let's just say that it involved a woman and leave it at that.

JIM: I meant to tell you this yesterday and I forgot.

My grandmother's maiden name (on my mother's side) is Eisenberg.

DAVE: That's ironic. Maybe you two are distantly related.