Monday, October 6, 2014

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Well, that game just fucking sucked.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The baseball National League wild-card game is tomorrow night here in Pittsburgh. If you're near a TV around 8:07, you might want to check it out. It's going to be pretty crazy.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Neal Huntington is the 12th person to serve as General Manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates Major League Baseball organization. And he is a complete moron.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

DAVE: I discovered today that my Mac understands a list of voice commands, such as “Open my browser.” There are a whole bunch of them. I have never heard anyone who owned a Mac mention that feature.

JIM: Cool. Kind of like Siri.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

It's truly a terrible illness.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

DAVE: I learned yesterday that Ashton Kutcher is engaged to Mila Kunis, who I think is very hot. First, Demi Moore, and now Mila Kunis. Lucky fucking bastard.

JIM: Be respectful. I think he's earned that now.

Monday, July 28, 2014

DAVE: The reason why I don’t watch many Pirate games, and the reason why I refuse to become emotionally attached to the team is because they are what they are, and the ownership shows no signs of making real, impactful changes. PNC Park is selling out almost every night (without fireworks), and there is no reason for ownership to do anything. It’s nice that the Pirates are doing as well as they are, and I am happy for the players and the fans. But ultimately, the terrible ownership will not do what needs to be done to truly field the best team that they can. There is even some debate about whether they will even sign Neil Walker. That’s just pathetic.

JIM: Nice rant. You should put it on your blog.

DAVE: Done.

DAVE: Although, I must admit, that at this point, I suspect that you’re the only person who reads my blog.

JIM: I guess maybe that doesn't say much for either of us.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

In all seriousness, it is hard to say "pianist" without it sounding like "penis." Am I wrong?

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

DAVE: Who do you like in tonight’s All-Star Game? I think the National League will win [They lost].

JIM: I would like to see the NL win [They lost].

My kids both booed Derek Jeter when he was introduced. What is up with that?

DAVE: That’s weird. I thought everyone at least liked Derek Jeter. I don’t really care. He's a Yankee. 

JIM: Yeah. I was just surprised at the Jeter backlash from young kids.

DAVE: Did you ask them why they don’t like Derek Jeter?

JIM: My daughter said because he's a Yankee.

I guess you can't argue with that.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

DAVE: How much is gasoline in your area? It is $3.90 here and has been for most of the summer. Meanwhile, when I was down in Florida, it was $3.35. We in Pennsylvania have rather high gas taxes, and they're talking about raising them so that they can fix roads and bridges. I'm pretty sure that's what they said the last time they raised the gas tax. Crooked politicians.

JIM: I don't know. I think I paid $3.73 earlier today.

Crooked politicians. They want people to conserve energy so we are less dependent on foreign oil. And they force car manufacturers to meet higher and higher mpg standards. So I buy a Prius to do my part. Now, there are states deciding that people driving hybrids aren't paying their share in gas taxes so they are going to charge an annual fee in order to own a hybrid. Unbelievable.

DAVE: That is unbelievable. And very republican.

JIM: They are all crooks.

DAVE: I know.

JIM: Do you?

DAVE: I do.

Monday, July 14, 2014

DAVE: I’ve been a little constipated this week, so tonight I drank some Metamucil for the first time in my life. Does that make me old?

JIM: I'm not sure. How did that work out for you?

Did I tell you we bought a Nutribullet a few months ago? So now for breakfast every morning I make a Nutribullet shake, usually with spinach plus whatever fruits we have around. And I always put flaxseed in it. Does that make me old?

DAVE: It worked.

No, you didn’t tell me. I guess you like the shakes, huh? They must help keep you regular.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

DAVE: You have children. I do not. Do you ever worry about a school shooting?

JIM: It is a tough question. Not really, but it also seems naive to think it could never happen.

Monday, June 9, 2014

DAVE: When I was younger, I always liked Hall and Oates. What about you?

JIM: Yes. Me too.

Private Eyes was the first actual record album I ever bought. I remember I wanted to go to see them for my first concert. My parents told me I was too young, so then my grandparents said they would take me but by the time we tried to get tickets they were sold out. To this day, I've still never seen them in concert.

DAVE: I’ve always been a bit of a “wait for the Greatest Hits album” type of music buyer. So, when their record “History of Rock and Soul, Part 1” came out, I was all over it. And although I still have a good number of records from my youth in my bedroom closet (albeit with no record player on which to play them), I don’t think that album is among them. I don’t know what happened to it, but I do remember that it was a pretty great record. All the hits, baby.

JIM: Yeah. I might have that cassette tape. I'm not sure. All the hits. They are both from Philadelphia, you know.

Why the interest in Hall & Oates?

DAVE: I did know that they were from Philadelphia.

Last night [Saturday] during the second intermission of the hockey game, I was flipping through the HBO channels that my parents have, and on one of them, I came across a broadcast of the 2014 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction ceremony, and there were Hall and Oates playing “Rich Girl.” After that, they played “You Make My Dreams Come True,” and that was it. They probably played more songs before I tuned in. The audience seemed to be really into them. I think they were a major band for a lot of folks our age during our teenage years. Also, they are on my mind because there is a restaurant in Fox Chapel whose bar has a bunch of TVs for different sporting events that I sometimes go to for dinner and drinks. And on Fridays, they have a two-man band in the bar that does covers, and some of their songs are by Hall and Oates.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

DAVE: I just voted at my polling place [Tuesday at 1:15], and I was only the 46th Democrat to have voted. This is an important election in that it will decide who will run against and hopefully defeat Tom Corbett. The other stuff on the ballot is mostly bullshit, but that vote is important. Oh, well.

JIM: If it's so important, then they should let everyone vote.

DAVE: Oh, you mean like how Independents can’t vote in the primary? That is stupid.

JIM: It is stupid. Most things about government are.

DAVE: You, my friend, are a disenfranchised voter.

JIM: Not totally. I get the privilege of voting for whoever you decide I'm allowed to vote for.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Cinnamon roll French toast seems to be a popular item for breakfast at local restaurants. Have you seen the commercials for it? I love cinnamon rolls, and I love French toast, so you would think that I would like it. But what I don't know is do you still put syrup on it? Or is that too much sweetness?

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Do you know what I hate most about election season? It's the barrage of political mailings, especially those over-sized, cardboard mailers that get jammed into my poor little mailbox, pushing the important mail into the corner. Do voters read and get influenced by these things? I thought Americans voted for the person who spends the most on TV commercials.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

To me, a beautiful woman in high heels can be very sexy. However, if a woman can't walk in high heels, she shouldn't even try.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Three things that I never thought would become as big as they have:

1. Twitter
2. Boxer briefs
3. Flavored vodka

Thursday, May 1, 2014

I sent my first email in colored text last night. The text was blue. The email was to my mother who is having a tough time right now recovering from back surgery.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

I recently heard from a health professional that we do not, in fact, lose 70% of our body heat through our heads. It's more like 10%. Doesn't that just make more sense?

Thursday, April 24, 2014

I recently got my latest pair of my go-to shoes, the Merrell Chameleon 4 Stretch. They are fucking awesome.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Why is Kevin Costner suddenly blowing up? Again?

Friday, April 4, 2014

I think American cheese is disgusting. It's not even cheese.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Brewed On Grant: Opening Day 
Written by Rob Rogers on Wednesday, 02 April 2014.

Finally, a new season of Pirates baseball that doesn't come on the heels of double digit consecutive losing seasons. How cool is that?

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Finders Keepers 
Written by Rob Rogers on Wednesday, 26 March 2014.

Boy Mayor may be gone ... but he refuses to be forgotten. He is still stirring up trouble.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Subway is now serving flatbread (read: pizza). That seems weird to me.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Muppets are brilliant. Just brilliant.

Monday, March 17, 2014

I think LL Cool J is a much better actor than Ice-T.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

I am leaning toward hating the word "trending."

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

My hair grows quickly. All of my hair. Including the hair in my nose. So, I am constantly trimming things in there so that it never gets out of control. I guess I'm kind of obsessive about it. But I'm the same way about my finger and toe nails. Which, fun fact, also grow unusually fast.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Well, I have finally eaten at the Cheesecake Factory. I just had a dinner salad, but it was good. I was saving myself for dessert (it was the Cheesecake Factory, after all), and I ordered not cheesecake, but carrot cake. It was . . . not very good. I guess that's why they don't call it the Carrot Cake Factory.

Friday, February 28, 2014

I don't like Ethan Hawke's dirty-looking, messed-up hair. What's the deal with that? Take a shower before you go on TV.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Brewed On Grant: Pothole Patcher
Written by Rob Rogers on Wednesday, 26 February 2014.

Mayor Bill Peduto was seen on Pittsburgh streets this past weekend shoveling blacktop into potholes.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Now that I have a Mac, I decided to purchase my first e-book. So, what did I buy? I bought Tortilla Flat by John Steinbeck. Pretty anticlimactic, huh?

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Why do some paper towels and some toilet tissue have hearts, butterflies, and flowers on them?

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I get Sam Waterston confused with David Strathairn. If you don't know who these guys are, then Google them. If you have time to read my blog, then you have time to Google.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

For years I've heard Pittsburghers say things during a typical rainy winter like, "I would rather have snow." Well, this has been the winter for you. Instead of being a wet winter, this one has definitely been littered with multiple snowfalls. Is it possible to miss the rain?

Monday, February 10, 2014

Have you seen the commercial for the Toyota Highlander featuring the Muppets? I don't know how I feel about the Muppets selling things.

Monday, February 3, 2014

DAVE: This game is a debacle.

JIM: I guess we can be happy for Pete Carroll. He has Pitt ties.

DAVE: Doesn’t it seem like everybody has Pitt ties?

JIM: Not Peyton Manning. And look what happened to him.

Friday, January 31, 2014

DAVE: I just spent $93 on Amazon on a textbook for my class.

JIM: I thought the web was making books obsolete. And now you have to spend that much on a book so you can learn how to build web pages that will make books obsolete?

DAVE: Ain’t life a bitch.

In addition to the textbook, the rest of the course is, in fact, online.

JIM: Yes. Life, in fact, can be a bitch.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Both of my parents use canes, and they each have a blue handicapped parking placard.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

My father has become one of these fanatical retirees who regularly composes letters to the editor. Then he sends copies of the crudely cut-out letters to I don't know who, but I am among the recipients. He writes the letters when he is in Pittsburgh and in Florida.

Monday, January 27, 2014

When it snows, as it has so often in Pittsburgh this winter, car owners are responsible for cleaning all of the snow off their cars. I just want to remind drivers that cleaning snow off you car includes the headlights and taillights. It's just crazy to drive around in winter weather with your lights covered with snow.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Brewed On Grant: Pedu-Right 
Written by Rob Rogers on Wednesday, 22 January 2014.

In stark contrast to Pittsburgh's previous mayor, Bill Peduto seems to be doing all the right things as he adjusts to his new office. So that's what adult behavior looks like!

Actually, Bill got the chip implanted in his arm, not his neck.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Surgeon General
Written by Rob Rogers on Friday, 17 January 2014.

It has been fifty years since the release of a study showing a direct link between smoking and lung disease. Many people have taken the Surgeon General's Warning seriously ... while others can't quit despite the evidence. Meanwhile, the tobacco companies continue to get rich.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Why is Kevin Hart suddenly blowing up?

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Brewed On Grant: Mayor's Office 
Written by Rob Rogers on Wednesday, 15 January 2014. 

Bill Peduto has been sworn in and it is clear he is out to change the culture Boy Mayor left behind.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

DAVE: How’s that fancy new watch with all the buttons working out for you so far?

JIM: The only button I've used so far is for the light.

DAVE: Indiglo. Nice. Timex really hit a homerun with that little feature on their watches.

JIM: The Indiglo on my old watch probably hasn't worked in about 10 years. So sometimes now I just press the button on my new watch even when I don't need to. Just because I can.

DAVE: You’re a wild and crazy guy, no doubt about it.

JIM: I had some carrots that I dipped in hummus with my lunch. But not just any hummus. Sundried tomato and basil flavored hummus. I am kicking it up a notch.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

No more of the Lukester and his shenanigans. Pittsburgh has a real mayor now.