Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Does this "strapless" bra (bras? bra set?) really work? It can't possibly be very comfortable. I suppose it's pretty easy to take off.
For the women, too.
Luke Ravenstahl: If you think being smarter than me with far more political experience is enough to beat this wonderboy who inherited his position from the beloved Bob O'Connor, then you've got another thing coming. The people like me more than Peduto and they will like me more than . . . Hey, is that free food over there?
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Meanwhile, back home in the States:
No health care for all.
Social service agencies experiencing major funding cuts.
Our infrastructure crumbling.
The housing market stumbling.
Of course, the stock market continues to rise, making the wealthy more wealthy.
Bush's family friend Osama bin Laden? Still out there somewhere. But we did capture and cause the beheading of the crazy Middle East leader who had nothing to do with 9-11.
Good work, George. How's your stock portfolio doing these days?
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
For the most part, I'm pretty pleased with my new MARBL (it even has a cool name), although I've always preferred the one-piece phones that don't flip, so that's going to take some getting used to.
The friendly sales associate in the technology department at Target was very helpful in my decision to buy this phone over some of the other models. However, I must tell you that he did not smell good. Not at all. He was dirty and smelly. He had obviously not showered in a couple of days, and his deodorant had given out on him sometime on Sunday, I would guess. He had long fingernails with dirt under them. He was a swell fellow, but I could smell him coming and going, and when I stood next to him, it was downright oppressive.
When I left the store and drove away, I sat at a light with the smell still swirling around my olfactory cavities, so I cranked the AC in an effort to get the stench out of my system. That seemed to work, but I couldn't help thinking to myself, how does a person get to be so stinky at a nice, clean store like Target without their co-workers and managers saying something to them? It's not like the deodorant aisle is that far from the technology department. He even could have bought a little sample-sized Speed Stick for under a dollar and slapped some of that (maybe all of that) under those puppies. Wow.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Dave: Actually, I think they may have some of the same bartenders.
So, margaritas, huh? Very macho.
Jim: On the rocks. Not the frozen kind. The kind real men drink.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Attorneys for Tribune-Review publisher Richard M. Scaife have filed court papers demanding the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette return documents related to Mr. Scaife's divorce proceedings from his wife, Margaret Ritchie Battle Scaife. In response, the Post-Gazette, arguing that no court has the right to force a newspaper to surrender documents lawfully in its possession, has posted those documents online.
Even my father has been beaten down by that team.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
While I was finishing it off and watching the closed captioned version of Larry King on the TV mounted above the bar, I couldn't help but hear the three guys perched next to me at the bar. They had been there for a while, and were plenty lubed up, much like myself. However, they were talking loudly among themselves, and one of the topics was the large table of young Asian women apparently celebrating someone's birthday. Dear readers, I must tell you that I could not believe my ears as I listened to them make derogatory remark after derogatory remark about "Chinese" people. I don't even know if these women were Chinese, but it doesn't matter. These guys were unbelievably obnoxious and offensive. I just hoped that the birthday party gathering couldn't hear them, although I suspect that they could.
I was embarrassed. Embarrassed for the assholes next to me, embarrassed for the young women, and embarrassed for myself that I had to be there. It practically undid all of the good fellowship that I had just spent with my new friend. It reminded me of one of the reasons why I don't go out drinking much anymore: people. Take what appear to me perfectly normal people and add a bit of alcohol, and presto, you've got assholes. Loud, obnoxious assholes.
The apparent ringleader of the threesome, who didn't seem to be able to separate himself from his Blackberry, never seemed to stop talking. He took shots at the women, he made unpleasant remarks about a "black woman that he once dated," and he just continued to spew venomous words of small-mindedness. I hated him. If my co-drinker had not left, I most surely would have said something to him. But I was clearly outnumbered, and the threesome seemed to be regulars who knew the bartenders. So, I was not in a very good position to interject with my opinions about what a bunch of fucking douchebags they were. But I sure did want to.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I want to punch Steeler baby.
Who is that guy on your blog anyway? Should I know him?
He's the CMU professor who claims to have invented the emoticon 25 years ago yesterday.
Then I hate that guy too.
If you didn't know, today was National Talk Like a Pirate Day. I'd like to know which day is National Dave Gets Asked Out on a Date by Jennifer Aniston Day.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Not this time, dear readers. I have learned my lesson. The last time the Pirates were a respectable, no, a great baseball team, it all ended with a photo-finish slide, orchestrated on the reconstructed knees of one of my old favorites in Sid Bream. With that fortuitous slide, the Pirates were thereby cursed. The Pirates (and I) have never been the same.
(Comic credit: The very appropriate comic above was brought to my attention by FF.)
Friday, September 14, 2007
Honestly, you don't have to go to so much trouble, dude. I get it. You've got money. Congrats. Really. I'm happy for you.
But Apple still isn't going to give you $200 back for the iPhone that you probably made your assistant wait in line to buy you.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Dave: Do you see much of that hair style in your part of the Commonwealth?
Jim: You will never see as many goofy hair styles for women as you do in Pittsburgh.
He's right, you know. Unless you're watching old episodes of "Cops" on Court TV. Now, those hair styles are scary.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
At the beginning of last season, amidst all of the hype surrounding the Steelers' Super Bowl defense and then Ben's motorcycle accident, I predicted that the team would finish 8-8. Those with whom I shared my prediction were not convinced. That is, until the end of the season.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
A guy returned a book at the library yesterday about Cannabis and inside the book was a subpoena for him to attend a trial regarding drug possession.
Another guy returned 15 books with musical orchestrations in them from classical pieces and so I asked him if he was a musician.
"What do you play?"
"I played that in middle school."
"Well, you know, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
He didn't find that as amusing as I did.
We have a harmless but always drunken older black man who comes into the library to listen to the Temptations on the computer. He goes by the name Brother George. We call him Temptations Man. He tends to become rather passionate while listening to the Temptations and frequently gets up from his seat and while connected to the computer by his earphones begins to dance in place and sing the lyrics to the songs. He was kicked out on Wednesday while singing "My Girl". He's not allowed to come back for a month. When he was told this while we escorted him out of the building he began crying in slurred speech, "You're taking my Temptations away from me."
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Do you think the Boy Mayor is trying to score some primo seats, compliments of the new head coach?
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
And it had to be in the fall.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Saturday, September 1, 2007
As glorious as the weather is, today marks the beginning of fall for me. I can feel it. So, while I relish the perfection of the day, deep down inside of me somewhere, there will be a little itch of discomfort that knows summer is over. It abandons me every year. But I always forgive it.