DAVE: I'm torn today. USA beat Canada. Great. I'm American. But I lived in Canada for two years, and I really like Canada. And Sidney Crosby plays for the Penguins. What's a hockey fan to do?

JIM: USA! USA!

Sidney Crosby is a punk. If he was on any other team, he would be the hockey player that you most hate.

DAVE: Why do you hate Crosby so much? Is it because he is so often compared to your beloved Gretzky?

I still like Canada. They have universal health care.

JIM: Crosby is a punk. Maybe he'll mature into a decent human being someday, but as of now, he is a spoiled punk. That's not a knock on his skill as a hockey player, just a knock on him as a person.

DAVE: Wow. You sound like a . . . like a . . . like a . . . Flyers fan. Shocking.