There were a number of things that I considered writing about today (Ted Kennedy's cancerous brain tumor, the full week of downright cold weather leading up to Memorial Day Weekend, the fact that I got caught in a hail storm walking to my car in the Target parking lot yesterday afternoon), but the most pressing issue of them all for me right now is that it sucks to be a guy without an ass. I have no ass. I'm assless. And it makes me look weird. I do. I look weird. I've got a belly, but no ass to help hold it up. And as the many assless men out there know, you can't buy a pair of pants that really fit well when you don't have an ass. I don't think that I own one pair of pants, casual or dress, that really fit me at all. They all just grip me at the waist (no jokes, please) and then droop off my bony hips all the way to the ground. No shape. No support. It doesn't look good.


Maybe I'll write about the hail storm tomorrow.