A Farewell to Arms

Dear Mr. Rick Santorum:

As last night's fairly resounding defeat at the hands of Bob Casey, Jr. demonstrates, the people of Pennsylvania have decided to go in a different direction. In fact, your buddy Donald Rumsfeld resigned today after yesterday's Election Day results in favor of Democrats all over the country. We are not digging the war in Iraq or the nearly three thousand American lives that have been lost while the Iraqi people were not busy "greeting us as liberators." We've also decided (at least for the time-being) that we don't like your very narrow notions about what constitutes a family. Of course, you and your wife are free to keep procreating as you two work together to have one of those good kinds of families. We are, however, going to have to ask you (albeit reluctantly) to return to your home in the Penn Hills community of Pittsburgh where your litter of children can attend the local public schools. In the meantime, enjoy your last couple of months in the Senate. Make sure that you exchange email addresses with your buddies George, Dick, and Condi. We know that you guys with continue to be BFFs even though you will no longer have any power and no one will ever have to listen to you speak again. Like you, they will have plenty of free time on their hands in about two years.