JIM: I'm wearing corduroys today. Could life be any better?

DAVE: Big day. You're wearing corduroys, and Alan Iverson is coming back to the 76ers.

JIM: The corduroys are comfortable. But it makes me kind of sad to wear them. As it turns out, they are comfortable because they are a size 34 waist and all of my other pants are either size 32 or 33. I have been putting on weight lately because I have no time to exercise and barely have time to eat (and end up eating dinner quite often at odd times like 9:00 or 10:00 at night) and certainly have not been eating as properly as I should. So it turns out most of my other clothes are becoming somewhat snug around the waistline. I have pretty much given up even trying to wear any pants that are size 32 and even the size 33s are becoming uncomfortable. So, wearing my size 34 corduroys kind of makes me feel like I've just given in to getting fat and that's the way it's going to be.

DAVE: A few months ago, I gave all of my 32s to Goodwill. I am a 34, and I've accepted it. You will in time.

JIM: You aren't helping.