I don't think that overweight men and women should wear skinny jeans.

Have you seen those commercials with "Hannah and her horse?" The commercials are for DirecTV, but honestly, all you can think about is Hannah. She may be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And I'm not being hyperbolic.

I see on the news that another one of those big, plastic, bouncy houses for kids has gone for a ride of its own. Those things must not be safe. It doesn't seem worth the risk to have one of those things at a kid's party or whatever.

How hot did Mila Kunis grow up to be? Jeepers. And she ended up with Ashton Kutcher. That guy has a good life.

Sidney does not want to play with me very much anymore. He started turning down play last summer for the first time ever,  and now he just doesn't want to play. He will be nine in June. My mother and I took him to the vet who very kindly suggested a bunch of tests (cha-ching), and the end result of that is that there is nothing wrong with Sidney physically. So, unless he's depressed (and who could blame him, living in Pittsburgh where there are no geckos to hunt), then it's a simple matter of him aging. I don't know. He never, ever didn't want to play. And now he doesn't play. He just sleeps most of the day.

Well, that game just fucking sucked.

The baseball National League wild-card game is tomorrow night here in Pittsburgh. If you're near a TV around 8:07, you might want to check it out. It's going to be pretty crazy.

Neal Huntington is the 12th person to serve as General Manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates Major League Baseball organization. And he is a complete moron.

DAVE: I discovered today that my Mac understands a list of voice commands, such as “Open my browser.” There are a whole bunch of them. I have never heard anyone who owned a Mac mention that feature.

JIM: Cool. Kind of like Siri.

It's truly a terrible illness.

DAVE: I learned yesterday that Ashton Kutcher is engaged to Mila Kunis, who I think is very hot. First, Demi Moore, and now Mila Kunis. Lucky fucking bastard.

JIM: Be respectful. I think he's earned that now.

DAVE: The reason why I don’t watch many Pirate games, and the reason why I refuse to become emotionally attached to the team is because they are what they are, and the ownership shows no signs of making real, impactful changes. PNC Park is selling out almost every night (without fireworks), and there is no reason for ownership to do anything. It’s nice that the Pirates are doing as well as they are, and I am happy for the players and the fans. But ultimately, the terrible ownership will not do what needs to be done to truly field the best team that they can. There is even some debate about whether they will even sign Neil Walker. That’s just pathetic.

JIM: Nice rant. You should put it on your blog.

DAVE: Done.

DAVE: Although, I must admit, that at this point, I suspect that you’re the only person who reads my blog.

JIM: I guess maybe that doesn't say much for either of us.

In all seriousness, it is hard to say "pianist" without it sounding like "penis." Am I wrong?

DAVE: Who do you like in tonight’s All-Star Game? I think the National League will win [They lost].

JIM: I would like to see the NL win [They lost].

My kids both booed Derek Jeter when he was introduced. What is up with that?

DAVE: That’s weird. I thought everyone at least liked Derek Jeter. I don’t really care. He's a Yankee. 

JIM: Yeah. I was just surprised at the Jeter backlash from young kids.

DAVE: Did you ask them why they don’t like Derek Jeter?

JIM: My daughter said because he's a Yankee.

I guess you can't argue with that.

DAVE: How much is gasoline in your area? It is $3.90 here and has been for most of the summer. Meanwhile, when I was down in Florida, it was $3.35. We in Pennsylvania have rather high gas taxes, and they're talking about raising them so that they can fix roads and bridges. I'm pretty sure that's what they said the last time they raised the gas tax. Crooked politicians.

JIM: I don't know. I think I paid $3.73 earlier today.

Crooked politicians. They want people to conserve energy so we are less dependent on foreign oil. And they force car manufacturers to meet higher and higher mpg standards. So I buy a Prius to do my part. Now, there are states deciding that people driving hybrids aren't paying their share in gas taxes so they are going to charge an annual fee in order to own a hybrid. Unbelievable.

DAVE: That is unbelievable. And very republican.

JIM: They are all crooks.

DAVE: I know.

JIM: Do you?

DAVE: I do.

DAVE: I’ve been a little constipated this week, so tonight I drank some Metamucil for the first time in my life. Does that make me old?

JIM: I'm not sure. How did that work out for you?

Did I tell you we bought a Nutribullet a few months ago? So now for breakfast every morning I make a Nutribullet shake, usually with spinach plus whatever fruits we have around. And I always put flaxseed in it. Does that make me old?

DAVE: It worked.

No, you didn’t tell me. I guess you like the shakes, huh? They must help keep you regular.

DAVE: You have children. I do not. Do you ever worry about a school shooting?

JIM: It is a tough question. Not really, but it also seems naive to think it could never happen.

DAVE: When I was younger, I always liked Hall and Oates. What about you?

JIM: Yes. Me too.

Private Eyes was the first actual record album I ever bought. I remember I wanted to go to see them for my first concert. My parents told me I was too young, so then my grandparents said they would take me but by the time we tried to get tickets they were sold out. To this day, I've still never seen them in concert.

DAVE: I’ve always been a bit of a “wait for the Greatest Hits album” type of music buyer. So, when their record “History of Rock and Soul, Part 1” came out, I was all over it. And although I still have a good number of records from my youth in my bedroom closet (albeit with no record player on which to play them), I don’t think that album is among them. I don’t know what happened to it, but I do remember that it was a pretty great record. All the hits, baby.

JIM: Yeah. I might have that cassette tape. I'm not sure. All the hits. They are both from Philadelphia, you know.

Why the interest in Hall & Oates?

DAVE: I did know that they were from Philadelphia.

Last night [Saturday] during the second intermission of the hockey game, I was flipping through the HBO channels that my parents have, and on one of them, I came across a broadcast of the 2014 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction ceremony, and there were Hall and Oates playing “Rich Girl.” After that, they played “You Make My Dreams Come True,” and that was it. They probably played more songs before I tuned in. The audience seemed to be really into them. I think they were a major band for a lot of folks our age during our teenage years. Also, they are on my mind because there is a restaurant in Fox Chapel whose bar has a bunch of TVs for different sporting events that I sometimes go to for dinner and drinks. And on Fridays, they have a two-man band in the bar that does covers, and some of their songs are by Hall and Oates.