Riding alone in HOV lanes is a Parkway North habit
Monday, May 31, 2010
By Jon Schmitz, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

The man in the gray Pontiac who drove in the Parkway North HOV lanes without a passenger one day last week was hardly alone in thumbing his nose at the two-occupant rule.

Over a one-hour stretch from 4 to 5 p.m., 56 drivers were observed entering the HOV lanes at the Bedford Avenue gate near Mellon Arena without riders, an offense that could get each a $109.50 fine.

But probably not.

A review of records in the office of North Side District Judge Robert P. Ravenstahl Jr. turned up only three citations for HOV lane violations this year and six last year. The other North Side district judge, Derwin Rushing, has had one case this year, a staffer said.

That tends to aggravate drivers who obey the rules, like Larysa Gradeck of West View. She and her sister, Sonia Wallace of Ohio Township, commute via the Parkway North regularly. Ms. Gradeck says she typically sees three or four violators on each trip.

"It seems to be on the increase lately," she said.

State police spokeswoman Trooper Robin Mungo said citing HOV lane violators is not a top priority because troopers have so many other duties during rush hour.

"Those HOV lanes are open during peak rush hour time periods [when] all the main arteries are jam-packed and we are constantly running from incident to incident, for everything from fender benders to major crashes that clog up traffic.

"We can't afford to sit in a stationary position at the beginning or end of the HOV lanes."

Trooper Mungo said she understood the frustrations of those who abide by the HOV restrictions and see others ignoring them.

"We would hope that people obey the law" because it is the right thing to do, she said.

Court records in Judge Ravenstahl's office showed two citations were issued to singleton drivers on April 14 and one on March 5.

Last year on May 27, a trooper cited three motorists within a 24-minute period of the morning rush. There were only three citations for the rest of the year.

The HOV lanes opened in 1989 with a three-rider requirement, which was reduced to two in 1992 after complaints that virtually no vehicles were using the lanes.

That boosted HOV traffic, but Dan Cessna, the current district executive for the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation, said the lanes remain underutilized.

"It could certainly handle more traffic. Its [value] is measured on the days it's not available" and major backups occur on the main line, he said.

In some metro areas, drivers without passengers can legally use high-occupancy lanes by paying a toll. On those HOT (high occupancy toll) lanes, the prices are adjusted upward when traffic builds to keep the lanes from getting too crowded.

While so-called "congestion pricing" has been effective elsewhere, there has been no consideration of such a model here, Mr. Cessna said.

The Parkway North is the only highway in the region that would be readily converted for variable tolling, but Mr. Cessna said "the reality is it wouldn't generate enough funds to pay for itself."

Parkway North HOV use peaked in 1992, when an average of 4,857 vehicles per day used it. But HOV traffic declined by 20 percent over the ensuing 12 years, falling to 3,861 vehicles per day by 2004. It has remained near that level since then.

In 2009, for every vehicle that breezed down the 5.3-mile HOV lanes, 25 used the mainline.

Eight Port Authority bus routes use the HOV lanes, carrying about 3,000 riders on a typical weekday.

One option that PennDOT has considered is converting the Parkway North to a more traditional HOV configuration, with the innermost lanes in both directions reserved for car pools, Mr. Cessna said. That would eliminate the need to have reversible lanes and gates.

But such a conversion would be "very expensive," he acknowledged.

Drivers without passengers can legally use the HOV lanes to travel outbound after 7 p.m. daily and on weekends, which helps ease congestion after events at Mellon Arena and the North Shore stadiums. Motorcycles are permitted to use the lanes whenever they are open.

Presenting Ginger . . .

Man who banned himself from casino must forfeit jackpot
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The Associated Press

ERIE, Pa. -- A man who won a $2,001 slot machine jackpot at Erie's Presque Isle Downs & Casino will forfeit the winnings, and be charged with trespassing, because he had previously banned himself from the casino under a state program to help problem gamblers.

The state police have not identified the 55-year-old Waterford Township man who won the jackpot Friday, sometime between 10 a.m. and noon.

The Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board offers a self-exclusion program to problem gamblers. They can choose to ban themselves from casinos for one or five years, or for life. It wasn't immediately clear when the jackpot winner banned himself or for how long.

But under the program, banned players are charged with criminal trespass if they enter a casino and must forfeit any winnings.

DAVE: I'm not necessarily against increasing parking fines. But hasn't the City's problem with parking tickets always been the amount lost by those who simply don't pay the fines and are able to avoid getting booted?

BP: Many, many problems with the Parking Authority – that is definitely a big one.

DAVE: Do you happen to have a statistic on what percentage of those getting parking tickets pay them?

BP: Don't have it - would take awhile to get it. If they even respond.

DAVE: This may sound funny, but I've been watching "The Wire," having missed it the first time around on HBO. Is our city government as screwed up as they make Baltimore's look?

BP: It is being "handled" by a handful of people and it is all about money.

DAVE: I see. So, pretty much like everything else in the world.

I don't know how to deal with it.

DAVE: Sorry, Bill. I just realized that my last email read, "I don't know how to deal with it." I meant to say "I don't know how YOU deal with it." There's a big difference.

BP: I don't know how any of us deal with re-elect it and then elect a newer version.

4 8 15 16 23 42 . . .

Seriously. It's been two days and my head still hurts from the final episode of "Lost." So much to think about. Still so many unanswered questions. Really, for me, the worst of it is that I don't have any more shows to which I am loyal and devoted like I was to Lost. There is nothing on my weekly TV watching schedule. Nothing like that to look forward to.

Mayor's brother nominated to Alcosan board
Monday, May 24, 2010
By Rich Lord, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Fresh from his Tuesday victory in a special election for state House, Adam Ravenstahl, D-Summer Hill, is in line for another title: member of the Allegheny County Sanitary Authority board.

Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl, the new representative's brother, submitted the nomination to city council in a letter dated Wednesday. The appointment is pending council confirmation.

A seat on the Alcosan board is widely considered a political plum because members have contact with engineering and construction firms that tend to be campaign contributors.

Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10144/1060438-100.stm

This is the story of Dave and Dennis, the POH Oral Health Products salesperson . . .


DAVE: I'm just an individual who prefers POH toothbrushes over the other ones available at stores, but I live in Pittsburgh, and I can't get them anywhere. I wanted to order five of the #4 Adult 4 Row 43 Tuft Bristle from the website [www.buypoh.com], but that doesn't meet the $20 order minimum. I don't want to buy 20 toothbrushes. Just five. Can you help me out?

Thanks.

DENNIS: I would suggest that you order some dental floss with your toothbrushes and then you would be able to make the minimum. Our dental floss is outstanding. I suggest that you try the Classic 490 NoWax first. Let's do it!

DAVE: But I don't NEED dental floss. My teeth are so close together that the only floss I've ever used that didn't shred or cut in my teeth is Glide. And if ordering your Classic 490 NoWax will get me to the minimum, then that must be some costly floss.

DENNIS: If your teeth are so close together then you should definitely try our dental floss. You will never use Glide again. Our dental floss is the finest floss known. Our Percept 420 is even thinner than our 490. Trust me, you will never want anything else after you use POH.

DAVE: Okay. I get it. $20 minimum. I guess I will have to settle for an Oral-B.

Thanks for all of your help.

DENNIS: I want you to give me your address and I will send you a couple of toothbrushes and some floss. I want you to try our floss and get back with me on what you think about our floss.

DAVE: Well, that sounds like a good plan, Dennis. I like blue and green toothbrushes, if it matters.

Thank you.

DENNIS: They will be on their way today!

It's challenging to go back now and watch the first season of "Lost," episode by episode, and not develop a bit of a crush on Evangeline Lilly.

I found out today that my local Goodwill does not accept televisions that are older than 2000. Foolish me, I was trying to donate a Sony relic from 1992 that formerly belonged to my dead grandmother and had only recently been replaced by my first HDTV. Now it's in a dumpster outside of the Goodwill.

Today is PAC-MAN's 30th Anniversary. Go to Google and try to play a little version of the game on their search page with the arrow buttons on your keyboard. Tons of fun. And very cool, if you ask me.

I think it's rather ironic that today is the day that this story appears in the Post-Gazette, given that today is Uncle Dan's big coming out party for Governor, and much of his platform is based on the fact that property assessments and, therefore, property taxes did not go up during his term as Allegheny County Executive. Given the state of the real estate market, both here and nationwide, I don't know how the new assessments will go. It is likely that most people will have their property assessed at a higher value, thus resulting in higher property taxes. Of course, the good news is that the slots casinos (soon-to-be full-blown casinos) across the state were promised by Uncle Ed to bring lower property taxes. We're still waiting on that, of course, but it was the main selling point for all of those slots parlors. So, will Uncle Dan get out of Allegheny County before the new property assessment? Go vote today and let's see how it turns out.


Allegheny County's reassessment teams prepare property visits
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
By Len Barcousky, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Allegheny County reassessment crews will spend three to five minutes visiting each of almost 600,000 properties over the next 16 months.

The teams will begin their work June 7, county Manager Jim Flynn said at a reassessment status conference Monday.

Common Pleas Judge R. Stanton Wettick Jr. presided over the meeting. He is overseeing the court-ordered reassessment, which will include a parcel-by-parcel on-site review.

The county has been divided into four quadrants, and reassessment crews will start their work in the eastern region.

On average, the walk- or drive-by review of each parcel will take about three to five minutes, said Wesley Graham, acting chief property assessment officer.

Mr. Graham is employed by Cole Layer Trumble Co. The county has retained the company to help it collect and analyze the assessment data.

Members of the survey teams will carry county-issued identification tags. They will not have to enter homes. Officials will be notified in each municipality before the crews begin their work, Mr. Flynn said.

The initial survey team will have about 11 members; that number is expected to rise to about 30 people.

The reassessment crews will compare what they see on their visits to the information property owners have provided on questionnaires the county mailed to their homes. They also will have access to aerial and other images provided by Pictometry International Corp.

Owners of about 60 percent of the county's 511,000 residential properties have returned the questionnaires, Mr. Flynn said. Owners of about 17 percent of the county's 61,000 commercial properties also have done so.

The review of all parcels is expected to be completed by the third quarter of 2011. Property owners will receive preliminary notice of the new values assigned to their homes and businesses between July and October of next year.

They can request an informal review of their assessments during the last three months of 2011 with formal appeals taking place in early 2012.

Mr. Flynn said the long-delayed reassessment project appears to be on track to be completed by the 2012 deadline accepted by Judge Wettick.

Judge Wettick scheduled the next reassessment conference for 10 a.m. July 8 in the City-County Building.

I just got online, and when I opened to my starting web page, this is what was at the top of the page. This guy may or may not make a good governor. But he sure as hell knows how to run a campaign.

Of course, he did raise a lot of money for his campaign. And I guess money gets you an ad at the top of the Quiet Observer's Home Page.

I was over at my parents' house yesterday helping my mother download photos from my niece's first birthday party earlier this month. It appears to have been quite a soiree. I was a little surprised to see a couple of photos in which Evelyn was actually wearing a tiara. Yeah, that's right. A fucking tiara. I'm wondering how my sister and Paris Hilton ended up with something in common.

Please, vast and loyal readership, I'm hoping for some good comments on the subject of the tiara.

Since Sidney has become "my mother's dog," he seems to view me as his play buddy. When I come around, it means playtime. And we play hardcore.

UPMC's Romoff took 24% pay cut in '09, to $3.5 million
Friday, May 14, 2010
By Steve Twedt, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Jeffrey Romoff, president and CEO of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, received $3.563 million in salary in 2009, a 24.4 percent decrease from his 2008 salary of $4.711 million.

The numbers were posted today on UPMC's website, which said the salary reduction was part of a previously announced cut in senior management compensation "taken to ensure the organization's continued pursuit of its health care and research mission during the economic downturn."

Just when you thought it was safe to go back under the river . . .

Last night I saw a political ad in which one of Dan Onorato's Democratic challengers for next Tuesday's primary election attacked him for his involvement in what the ad called . . . wait for it . . . the "Tunnel to Nowhere." The ad had all sorts of quotes in which the whole project was criticized, including one in which Governor Ed Rendell called it a "tragic mistake." This is interesting because it might be an issue that will resonate with voters, both locally and across the state. I don't have any knowledge of what, if any, role Dan Onorato played in getting the project approved and securing millions of federal dollars (although not nearly enough of them to actually finish the project). But I do know that as County Executive of Allegheny County, he did NOTHING to STOP the project before it became the giant boondoggle that I predicted it would be many, many years ago. And now he wants to move to Harrisburg with these two damn tunnels burrowed under the Allegheny River and no completion in sight. NOBODY in this town did ANYTHING to stop the stupid project that got its birth in the Tom Murphy Administration. Except Bill Peduto. But that's another story. Will this issue stick to Uncle Dan the way the so-called "Bridge to Nowhere" stuck to Sarah Palin? If Onorato wins the primary and gets the Democratic nomination for Governor, I will look forward to seeing how he responds to criticism from the Republicans about these twin tunnels under the river.

Of course these kinds of services exist, especially now with the internet. I guess they always did, just on a much, much smaller scale. Like, you got an old paper from a buddy in high school or college and used it as the basis for a paper by you. I wonder if this guy is doing it because of the economy, and he needs the money. Or despite claiming to have an Ivy League education, he so de-values education that he would do this? I don't know.


Struggling with your Online Course, Paper, Project or Assignment?
Date: 2010-05-12, 5:47PM EDT
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Playboy 'readers' get 3-D centerfold in June issue
By DON BABWIN
Associated Press Writer
AP Photo/M. Spencer Green
May 11, 3:50 PM EDT

CHICAGO (AP) -- Playboy readers who can only imagine what it would look like if a centerfold jumped right off the page are getting new specs to help them see into Hef's world. The magazine's June edition hits newsstands Friday equipped with 3-D glasses. Now the toy that has kids dodging dragons, meatballs and tall blue aliens at the movies will help adults focus on what is, at first glance, a very blurry Playmate of the Year.

"What would people most like to see in 3-D?" asked Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. "Probably a naked lady."

Hefner makes no secret of hoping to capitalize on the popularity of 3-D movies such as "Avatar" and "How to Train Your Dragon," even as he makes no secret of not quite getting what all the fuss is about.

"I'm not a huge enthusiast of 3-D," he said in a telephone interview. "I leave real life to go to the movies and 2-D is fine with me."

If the thought of grown men sitting back in their recliners with a pair of 3-D glasses doesn't quite say "Playboy," it should be noted that a few months ago the magazine put Marge Simpson - yes, the blue-haired animated mother of Bart - on the cover and in a two-page centerfold.

"In today's print environment you have to create newsstand events," said the editorial director of the Chicago-based magazine, Jimmy Jellinek. "Marge Simpson was one of those."

Playboy certainly must do something to get more people, especially younger people, to buy a magazine that has seen circulation plummet from 3.15 million in 2006 to 1.5 million today.

Jellinek said he hopes the issue featuring centerfold Hope Dworaczyk in 3-D also reminds people that for all the infatuation with the Internet, there is nothing quite like having a magazine in your hands.

"People want things that last and have meaning," he said.

The thought hadn't occurred to Hefner. But, now that you mention it:

"This particular picture is one example of how books and magazines are different (than computer images)," he said. "You can hold it in your hands, save them, and as Dad used to, put them under the mattress."

Hefner notes there also are plenty of good old-fashioned 2-D pictures of Dworaczyk - the 51st Playmate of the Year, for those counting at home.
3-D may be all the rage, but Hefner said he first thought of using it when he launched his magazine in the 1950s.

"I actually signed a photographer to shoot two nude women in 3-D in Chicago," he said. But he scrapped the idea when he discovered how expensive it would be to include the glasses.

This time around, HBO is helping out. HBO wanted a creative way to promote its show "True Blood," and having Playboy include 3-D glasses with the show's name on them seemed a good way to do it, said Playboy spokeswoman Theresa Hennessey.

So, do the glasses work? Well, it does kind of look like Dworaczyk is handing you the wine glass she's holding. And she says the photograph makes everything a little, well, bigger.

"It's kind of like it says on the rearview mirror," Dworaczyk joked. "Things may appear larger."

I apologize to my vast and loyal readership for having not posted anything in a few days. I went into the clubhouse on Saturday night to get a jacket, and I fell asleep in my chair. Apparently, this is a common problem for those who are 41.


Anyway, I went to the gas station today and the fucking gasoline failed to stop when my tank was full and overflowed. I stopped pumping immediately, but it was already dripping down the side of my car and forming a nice little puddle of gas in the nice little puddle of water that I was standing in. I truly hate when I get gas on myself. The smell is unpleasant, and it lingers. I don't appear to have gotten any on my hands or clothes, thank god, but the gas did get onto my shoes that were standing in the puddle within the puddle. So, my shoes smell like gas. Right now. At this very moment. Bugger.

This link requires no explanation from me. It speaks for itself. Literally.

http://www.restorestephenbaldwin.org/

How did Pennsylvania ever live without them, I wonder?

Can I get anyone a diet soda?

I've noticed that a lot of people are upset about the new immigration law in Arizona. Boy, that state is wacky, huh? That's where crazy Old Man McCain is from. Cuckoo. That would never happen in a cool state like Pennsylvania, right?


Legislators push PA immigration control bill
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
By Tom Barnes, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

HARRISBURG -- State Reps. Daryl Metcalfe and Harry Readshaw think Pennsylvania should follow Arizona's lead and "protect its borders and citizens" by giving local and state police more power to arrest, detain and eventually deport foreigners who have entered the state illegally and don't have proper registration papers.

Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10124/1055464-100.stm

JIM: So, one of the assistant baseball coaches for my son's team died suddenly a couple of days ago. Since it was sudden and unexpected and he seemed like a basically healthy guy, so I assume that it was a heart attack or stroke, or something similar. He was 41.

About two weeks ago, a guy I went to high school with died of a heart attack (although rumor has it that it was possibly cocaine-induced). He was one year younger than me.

About a year and half ago (right around Thanksgiving), my friend Dan from college died of a heart attack. I believe he was a year older than me.

My doctor told me straight out a few years ago that if I don't do something to reduce my cholesterol and triglycerides, that I would have a heart attack and get diabetes. So what did I do yesterday? I ate four doughnuts.

DAVE: Dude, apparently you need to take better care of yourself.

JIM: I just finished eating another doughnut. Cream-filled. Honest.

It was nice knowing you.

DAVE: Lay off the fucking doughnuts. Food at the office is the worst.

JIM: I don't even want a doughnut. But I hate to see them go to waste.

So, no comment about last night's Phillies game?

DAVE: Last night's Phillies game? You mean the kid who got tasered when he ran onto the field?

JIM: There are a lot of doughnuts in our kitchen at work right now. And they will end up being thrown away if I don't eat them.

Yeah, the cop who tasered the kid.

DAVE: Eh, just another day in Philadelphia, I reckon.

JIM: That idiot got what he deserved. I hope the cops beat the crap out of him too.

DAVE: At least he called his father first to ask for permission to run onto the field. That's just good child-rearing, if you ask me.

JIM: You want a light bulb that will last a long time? The next time a handicapped person calls you on the phone selling the lightbulbs that they guarantee will last 5 years, buy a box. I had some when I moved from Pittsburgh to here in 1996. I just changed a burned out light bulb about a week ago and I realized it was one of those I had bought while still living in Pittsburgh.

14 years!

DAVE: You just reminded me that I, too, bought a handful of bulbs from an organization for disabled people probably about the same time that you did. And those bulbs did last a long time. I don't have any more of them, but I remember having them in my last apartment before I moved into the condo. They used to call me to order more bulbs, and I kept telling them that the ones that I originally ordered were still working.

Did you know that we're not supposed to dispose of everyday, single-use alkaline batteries in the household garbage? Nope. That's bad for the environment. We need to take them to a place that will recycle and dispose of them properly, hopefully for no cost. I have taken batteries from cordless phones to Construction Junction, and I think they charged me 40 cents per battery. I don't know if they take single-use batteries, but I've found a place on the South Side called the Pennsylvania Resources Council (http://www.prc.org/community_easier.html) where you can recycle a bunch of stuff, including batteries, for free. Now, while I really don't want to schlep over to the South Side during business hours so that I can recycle batteries and empty ink cartridges, I will probably do it because it doesn't cost anything. I have a hard time with recycling programs that charge you a fee to recycle a product. I mean, a lot of places will take a little spiral, compact fluorescent light bulb (CFL), but then that's it for bulbs. What about the other light bulbs that contain trace amounts of Mercury like CFLs? Where can I take those? The good folks at PRC don't take them, but they did tell me that Construction Junction does. For a fee. One dollar per bulb. These are the new-fangled bulbs, you know? The globe vanity bulbs that I formerly used in my bathroom cost me something like $6 to begin with, (then lasted a period of time that was far short of the "guaranteed to last seven years" promise) and then I have to pay another $1 when I want to dispose of them properly. I want to recycle, I want to save Mother Earth before she kills me. I just don't want to have to pay a fee every time I have to replace the batteries in one of my remote controls. We live in a time of many remote controls, and I am no exception.

Popsicle riddle from last night . . .

Who do all the inches follow?




Their ruler.

Is it just me, or does everyone work with someone who looks almost exactly like sandwich-board jobless guy?

Pittsburgh region loses title of worst air in U.S.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
By Don Hopey, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

There will not be a three-peat.

After holding the title of worst air in the nation for two years, the Pittsburgh metropolitan area has fallen to third place for daily soot pollution, behind Bakersfield and Fresno, Calif., according to the American Lung Association's "State of the Air 2010" report.

The Pittsburgh area also dropped from second to fifth place for year-round soot pollution, behind Phoenix, Ariz., and Bakersfield, Los Angeles and Visalia, all in California.

But despite measurable improvements in air quality noted in the Lung Association's 11th annual report released this morning, the Pittsburgh region still received failing grades for both short-term and annual fine particle soot pollution and ozone smog.

Short-term pollution measures fine particulates in the air over a 24-hour period in micrograms per cubic meter. The long-term rankings use annual averages calculated and reported by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency

"People in Allegheny County breathe air that is too often dangerous, a public health issue that impacts even healthy, vibrant individuals as well as those most at risk -- children, the elderly and people with chronic health conditions like diabetes, heart and lung disease," said Deborah Brown, acting chief executive officer at the American Lung Association of the Mid-Atlantic.

Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10118/1053857-114.stm

I have a question that's always perplexed me . . .

When you have an item ready for recycling, does rinsing it out two or three times with water actually cancel out the environmental benefit of the recycling itself?


I am pretty solid when it comes to recycling. As my high-speed internet shopping spree unfolded, I found myself inundated with empty cardboard boxes. I used to just stroll those out to the dumpster behind my building. But now I use my switchblade (that I've had since high school and whose sole function in my life is to undo the tape on boxes) to undo the tape and break them down (like you're supposed to) before driving them to Construction Junction to be recycled.

I'm fairly certain that the gas that I burn to make what is a short journey to recycle the boxes cancels out, if not outweighs, the benefits of recycling the boxes. But I do it anyway. Although I do try not to make a special trip, so I get some environmental points for that. Right? Hello?

I'm obligated to talk a little bit about the Pirates with my 76-year-old father . . .

DAVE: I've become convinced that the whole "re-building the system" was a colossal failure on the part of Coonelly and Huntington. They traded away all of those players, virtually the entire starting line-up from 2007 (except Ryan Doumit, who is worthless) and they got nothing in return. Nothing. There is nothing on the major league level, and reports are that there's nothing in the minors. They got nothing. You'd think he would have made at least ONE good trade. Even Littlefield had a greater return on his trades, and it pains me to even say that.

DAD: I think you are right. The players they acquired are doing nothing. The sad part of the whole situation is that Andy LaRoche may be the best of their acquisitions. What does that tell you? Of course, what difference does it make? If any of the players they have acquired turn out to do well, they will be traded as soon as they become arbitration eligible. You are also right about Ryan Doumit; he is really worthless, both defensively and offensively. Also, Garrett Jones is looking like a one-year wonder.

Who is Brendan Donnelly? . . .

JIM: He's the 38-year-old veteran journeyman who they [the Pirates] signed to stabilize their bullpen this year.

You don't fool me.

DAVE: Dude, the name sounds familiar, but I'm REALLY not following the Pirates. Scores only. I'm genuinely ready and willing to let the current ownership sell the team to anyone who wants to move it anywhere they want. The Pittsburgh Pirates are a cursed franchise.

JIM: Cursed? Please. Being so melodramatic just doesn't seem to suit you.

DAVE: I'm not being melodramatic, so you're right that it doesn't suit me. I believe that the Pirates are a cursed franchise. Plain and simple. And unlike other cursed baseball franchises like the Cubs and formerly the Red Sox, I don't intend to wait around for the curse to be broken. I named my dog after Sid fucking Bream. I've done all that I can do.

Sandwich-board job hunter finds work after 2 years
By SAMANTHA GROSS
Associated Press Writer
AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews
Apr 24, 11:30 AM EDT

NEW YORK (AP) -- When laid-off toy company executive Paul Nawrocki hit the streets of Manhattan wearing a sandwich board and handing out his resume, he became the face of the recession.

At the end of 2008, with the giants of Wall Street collapsing and bank accounts dwindling, this lone, mustachioed job hunter with the sign proclaiming he was "almost homeless" seemed like a mirror of a slumping nation's fears and troubles.

Nawrocki appeared on CNN and was shadowed by South American photojournalists. In a handful of weeks, he gave more than 100 interviews in TV studios and on the street. He began to think of his photograph like a Post-it note - stuck next to seemingly every article about the economy.

The world decided he was a weather vane for the nation's economic troubles. And maybe he was: Even though the attention faded, his troubles did not.

Having the eyes of the world on him didn't land the then-59-year-old any viable job interviews. His wife was sick, and keeping his health care was a struggle. He began to decide between the doctors and the mortgage.

Well, if Paul Nawrocki is a sign of the times, then times are looking up.

Because last month, after collecting 99 weeks of unemployment, Nawrocki finally found a job.

He's not the only one. While unemployment remains high, the nation added 162,000 jobs last month - the first significant job growth since the downturn began.

"It was good. It felt good," the Beacon, N.Y., resident says of his first day back at an office - 25 months after he was asked to leave his old one. "It felt like all new again because it had been so long."

Nawrocki hopes he's back on his feet after the long, dark stretch. But he knows he's still on shaky footing. The financial damage of the last two years won't just disappear.

"We're still not out of the woods," he says now. He has two mortgages on his home 70 miles north of Manhattan.

"One of our mortgages - I'm like six months behind. I don't know how I'm going to be able to catch up."

Nawrocki and his wife declared bankruptcy last year. They got food stamps. They went to food banks. They took gifts from family.

For months, he's been waiting fearfully for his mortgage company to call - waiting for a foreclosure notice, for something. But so far, nothing has happened.

In the end, his path back to work wasn't through his television appearances, but through old-fashioned networking. He went to a toy-industry fair, and a friend introduced him to the man who would become his boss. Nawrocki believes the tales of his sandwich-board days helped him land an interview.

His paycheck is nearly half the size; he had made almost $100,000 a year. And his title is a little less grand.

But the job still seems a wondrous, unlikely rescue - as though a hand had descended from the sky at the last possible moment.

"I had reached the limit, the last week," he recounted. "And they called and had me start the next week. ... Through this whole experience it's been like that. We get right to the edge, and then ..." he trails off.

And then. Hope returns.

Police find suspect neck-deep in liquid manure pit
Apr 22, 3:48 PM EDT

ALBION, Ind. (AP) -- Police said that officers searching for a man wanted on methamphetamine charges found him hiding neck-deep in a liquid manure pit at a northeastern Indiana farm. Noble County sheriff's deputies thought they'd lost the man until an officer spotted him in the tank beneath an outbuilding floor on the farm near Albion.

Chief Deputy Doug Harp said the man, 52, had been neck-deep in the combination of hog and dog feces for at least an hour Tuesday evening. He later became combative and had to be shocked twice with a stun gun.

The suspect was treated at a hospital for hypothermia before being taken to jail.

A Steuben County magistrate on Wednesday ordered the suspect held without bail because he missed court hearings in February and March.

JIM: I keep going back to The Quiet Observer just to look at last Friday's post. Ah, the good old days...

DAVE: Didn't you send me that ad for BMW?

I forgot to tell you that this morning there was a Sid Bream reference and tape on ESPN following the Braves highlights from yesterday. Sid Bream sliding into home will never go away.

JIM: Yeah, I sent it to you. But it feels so much more titillating and salacious to view it on a website.

I just used the word "titillating."

JIM: I just went and looked at her again.

I may never forget her. She just may be my Sid Bream.

Sad, but true . . .

Yesterday, after almost nine and a half years, the original battery in my car had to be replaced. The AAA Battery Technician who ran the analysis of my old battery and who also installed my new battery said he had never heard of a nine and a half year old battery.

Last night, I was experiencing a very strong desire for salt and vinegar potato chips. And I don't even really like potato chips. Doritos are my chip of choice. So, I went to my local neighborhood Giant Eagle for the chips and a couple if other items. While I was perusing the snack aisle looking for my salt and vinegar chips, I stumbled upon a product that I'd never seen before but that's been in the news lately. I couldn't help myself, I had to buy the Big Ben's Beef Jerky. I also sampled the jerky last night. Hence, the opened bag. I did not particularly like it. Perhaps it is an acquired taste.

Some members of my vast readership may know that there is a company called Metro Heating and Cooling located along Banksville Road that often has a sign out front with a timely message. This is the message on the sign today: "7 Get Married."

Mother arrested in case of boy bringing heroin to school
Thursday, April 15, 2010
By Moriah Balingit, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

The mother of an 8-year-old boy who brought nearly $1,000 worth of heroin to a Wilkinsburg elementary school in his backpack has been arrested, Wilkinsburg police say.

Police would not release the woman's name or what she was charged with.

A third grade teacher at Turner Elementary School saw the boy fumbling with something in his pockets during state standardized testing Tuesday morning. The boy was found to have 60 bags of a white substance that initially tested positive for heroin. Police later found 18 of the bags, some of them opened, in a classroom trash can. Police said the bags were valued at about $10 each.

Police were expected to release the woman's name later today.

Boy, 8, takes heroin to school
Wilkinsburg police weigh charges against several in Turner incident
Thursday, April 15, 2010
By Deborah M. Todd, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10105/1050655-298.stm


"At the age of eight you don't have that much awareness of what you're doing. You know by what you are used to, what you're familiar with. If you live in an environment where that's what you see, you start emulating and imitating and that's what kids do unfortunately. Parents and the adult population aren't setting good examples for young people to follow."

Continued from yesterday . . .

JIM: Well, I'm pretty sure based on past discussions that you would never vote Republican (of course, doesn't that make you as bad as the overly partisan Republicans you deride? a discussion for another time...), but you could always vote for Anthony Williams.

DAVE: I voted for the Republican who ran against our Boy Mayor a couple of years ago. The circumstances have to be extraordinary. And if I don't like the Democrat, then I don't vote for that position. I don't vote for every position on the ballot. I almost never vote for judges. I don't know a goddamn thing about who is or isn't a good judge. If I don't have an opinion, I don't vote.

JIM: Saw the first Uncle Dan for guvner commercial in our local area yesterday.

So, you voting for him?

DAVE: I suppose.

JIM: Geez. Remind me never to seek the Quiet Observer's endorsement if I ever run for public office.

DAVE: I've followed Uncle Dan's political career back to when he was just a city councilman. He has risen very nicely into positions of greater importance. But when I think about Dan, my overall impression of him is that he doesn't make mistakes while in office. And one of the reasons his record appears so good is because he doesn't make mistakes. And one of the ways he doesn't make mistakes is by NOT DOING ANYTHING. He has never really DONE anything in a position of power here in Western PA that could get him in trouble with the voters. But I would hardly describe him with terms such as "proactive, progressive, or innovative." Slots machine casinos soon to be followed by full-blown casinos is not exactly what I call "proactive, progressive, or innovative."

His replacement as Allegheny County Executive here will have to face the issue of property taxes and how best to assess property values for taxing purposes. This was the issue that got Dan elected because the last guy had an assessment and taxes went up. Uncle Dan did everything is his power while in office to keep property assessments from happening under his watch, so that way he could always claim that property taxes (hot button issue in PA) never went up while he was in office. But a new assessment is coming. I think one has been ordered by the court. And when it comes, property values and taxes will, undoubtedly, go up. Uncle Dan is hoping he will be governor by then.

Let's play what are they thinking? . . .

The Lukester: Do you think that my rapidly receding hairline is that noticeable to the voters? Or my girlfriend?

Arlen "Walking Corpse" Specter: I used to be young and handsome like that young man right there. He's a dope, though. And it looks like he's got a rapidly receding hairline. Didn't that happen to Dan over there, too? Yeah, he lost his hair very quickly. Like when you have cancer. And they treat with that goddamn chemotherapy. Fucking hairs fall right the fuck out in the sink. Goddamnedest thing.

Uncle Dan: I think I just had a wet fart.

JIM: Did you ever have dinner with Cindy?

DAVE: After some time with no contact, I got a very nice email from Cindy this morning telling me that her life has been pretty crazy lately, but that she hasn't forgotten about dinner. I guess when you try to go out to dinner with a mother of two young boys in the middle of a divorce you have to be very patient. And I am.

JIM: Patience is a virtue.

I am hereby announcing to the world that high-speed internet has changed my life. (And not for the reasons you might think, those of you with dirty, little minds.) What HSI has done is that it has brought all of the shopping marketplaces on the internet to my desk. Whereas, in the past, I might not have been able to find a specific item that I was looking for, and I either gave up or settled for something that wasn't quite what I wanted. Now, I can visit websites all over the country (and the world), and with a little internet research, I can find those items that were so elusive in the past. Perfect example:

As some of my vast readership know, one of the many cool features of my old condo is the shower. It is a stall shower, but it is larger than traditional stalls, which makes it far more comfortable to use and maneuver in than those cramped stalls. I never would have bought the mortgage for my condo if the stall hadn't been bigger than normal. Anyway, despite being a large stall, the opening to the shower is small. 24.5 inches wide. Therefore, it requires a small stall shower curtain, which means that it needs to be less wide than a traditional shower curtain, but longer. The standard size for a stall shower curtain (if you can even find one anywhere other than Bed, Bath, and Beyond, dear god) is 54 inches wide and 78 inches long. But for my stall, that's both too wide and too long. So, since I moved in here, I have had to buy and use shower curtains that were simply too big for the space that needed to be curtained. And I had to put up with it.

Until HSI came to my home.

Just last week, I was able to browse all sorts of sites offering sizes of stall shower curtains other than 54 x 78. Finally, after an exhaustive and thorough session of Dave-quality research, I found my Holy Grail, my pot o' gold, my Emmanuelle Chriqui. Some random shower curtain company on the internet (http://www.shower-curtains.com/) was offering a stall shower curtain with all of the prerequisite qualities in a smaller size. 42 x 74. And it was one of those funkadelic new shower curtains that's hookless. Apparently, these things are all the rage in hotel showers. I really don't know. I haven't stayed in a hotel in a while. But I solved two problems at once. I had kind of needed new shower hooks, and my monumental discover via HSI allowed me to find the small shower curtain with hooks built right in. What could be better? So, I ordered one. It came, I installed it on Sunday, and it fits the shower opening much better than did any previous one. And I can throw away my white plastic shower hooks that had gotten kind of grungy over the years. The quality of my life has been improved. Quality of life. What else do we have?

So, thank you Al Gore for "inventing" the internet. And thank you Comcast for making it fast and bringing it to my home.

Sharks a concern for triathletes in Sydney Harbor
Apr 10, 5:24 AM EDT

SYDNEY (AP) -- Boats carrying shark-repelling devices will accompany swimmers during the opening leg of the World Championship Series triathlon event on Sunday.

Organizers said Saturday the devices have been fitted to ease any fears of competitors before they dive into Sydney Harbour for the 0.93-mile swim. That segment will be followed by a 24.86-mile cycle and 6.21-mile run.

Sharks often are seen in the harbor, persuading organizers to utilize technology which emits an electronic signal to repel them.

Engine noise from boats following the swimmers also is expected to keep sharks away, while a helicopter crew filming the event also will monitor the situation.

Man calls school to retrieve pot in son's Elmo backpack
Thursday, April 08, 2010
By Jim McKinnon, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

A Uniontown man was arrested this morning after staff at an elementary school found marijuana in the backpack of the man's son.

Ronald J. Washington, 33, telephoned Menallen Elementary School to ask whether his son, who is in kindergarten, had arrived.

Mr. Washington told school officials that he needed to retrieve something from his son's blue Elmo backpack.

State police said the school staff was suspicious and searched the book bag, where they found two clear plastic bags of marijuana.

State police were summoned and determined the bags contained 105 grams of pot.

After Mr. Washington arrived outside the school, the troopers confronted him.

Mr. Washington told the troopers, "It was something dumb."

Mr. Washington was arrested on charges of possession of marijuana, possession with intent to deliver the drug and disorderly conduct.

He was being held in the Fayette County Jail on $100,000 bail, pending a preliminary hearing at 9:30 a.m. April 14 before District Judge Joseph M. George Jr. in Uniontown.

And just in case you didn't already know, the popular political term "clean coal" has about as much truth to it as "dry water."

PSA . . .

Bottomline: Don't put ANYTHING in the storm drains. They're not there for you to use like a garbage can.

And yet, I've seen firsthand concrete companies pour their waste into the storm drains. Happens everyday, I'm sure.

Brett Favre became a grandfather today. He is younger than I am (although not by much). What. The. Fuck.

Oh, the funny little things that medical students pass around . . .

DAVE: Now, you and Rohan are going to have to get rid of your matching Donovan McNabb Eagles jerseys.


Despite recent problems for the Steelers (i.e., their star quarterback is a 28-year-old frat boy), you have asked about the differences between the Steelers and the Eagles before. I can tell you this for certain based on the behavior of the Steelers in very similar situations. When a star player is entering the last year of their contract (like McNabb was) and the Steelers do not intend to re-sign him, then the team releases him with that one year left and lets him become a free agent and decide for himself for whom he will next play. The Steelers don't trade players (especially stars) to other teams.

And they don't make the biggest trade in the team's history the night before the Phillies' Opening Day. Not cool at all.

FOCKER: agreed. they're a JOKE. and the best part is, i was reading in the paper this morning, that they said they considered donovan's "feelings" about where he wanted to go. so, we have dawkins, westbrook, and mcnabb gone: the only players on that team with any class or heart. i swear, rohan is closer than ever to becoming a steelers fan.

DAVE: I always thought that Washington might be a good place for McNabb to go, but then I figured that the Eagles would never trade him to a team in their division. I guess I was wrong.

JIM: Is there a more insecure professional sports franchise in America? in the world? They announce trading McNabb on Easter Sunday, the day before Opening Day, because they just can't stand to let the story be about the Phillies, even for one day. The guys running this organization are seriously screwed up.

Today at a local jewelry store, I traded in my gold high school class ring, a gold "D" ring that I used to wear for many years in high school and college, a Figaro gold bracelet that I used to wear in college, and a little gold ring that I used to wear in college when I was dating Julie the Virgin. (We were so queer.)

$185.

Well, I guess there are, in fact, SOME exceptions.

DAVE: I wore wool socks with shorts today. I don't know if I was able to pull it off.

JIM: I'm sure it was fine.

I wore bamboo dress socks to my cycling class at the Y last night because I forgot to bring a change of socks with me. Definitely did not pull it off.

I just saw a commercial for the new line of Samsung 3D TVs, with a family gathered around their huge 3D TV, all wearing their very uncool, dark plastic glasses. Good times with the family. I predict that 3D TVs will not become a household item and will eventually fade away. My track record on these kinds of predictions is impeccable. I predicted the failures of such items as TiVo, the super-sized Cadillac Escalade (the pick-up-truck-looking version of the Escalade never did really catch on, so give me that), and GPS devices for your car. No 3D TVs. Bet on it.

I was just strolling home from a doctor's appointment when a young man jogged by me, wearing all of the requisite, contemporary, jogging gear including the iPod strapped to his sweaty arm. But I noticed that his footfalls sounded like bare feet hitting concrete. And sure enough, he was not wearing any shoes.

DAVE: Rather than trade McNabb to the Raiders or the Bills, I think the classy thing for the Eagles to do is to let him finish out the one year left on his contract and then let him leave as a free agent next season.

JIM: Don't they owe it to their fans (and season ticket holders) to do what is best for the team?

DAVE: I hear they're only asking for a second-round pick. I don't like McNabb as a quarterback. Never have. But he's been a classy quarterback under the potentially suspect coaching philosophies of Andy Reid. I'd let him finish out his contact. It's not like he's over-the-hill and can't play. To trade him to the Raiders or Bills is . . . well, it's Philadelphia.

JIM: If it's time to move on, it's time to move on. I'm not saying that I know if it's time to move on or not. Just saying. McNabb has always been pretty good, and is a tough player who plays hurt. But if the Eagles think it is time to move on, then that's what they should do.

DAVE: It's not like McNabb has as many sexual assault accusations as Super Bowl titles. Okay, maybe a bad example.

JIM: Believe me, I remember well the long (losing) seasons of having quarterbacks like Rodney Peete, Bobby Hoying, Doug Pedersen, the Detmers...the list goes on and on.

But you can't be afraid to move forward into the future just because of what's happened in the past. If it is time for the Eagles to move on, then it is time to move on.

DAVE: I think the Eagles should at least trade him to a decent team: Arizona, Minnesota. But the Raiders?! Or the Bills?! Come on. That's just plain mean.

JIM: Well, the Steelers look like they are going to need a quarterback...

Because, apparently, up until now, you have foolishly been using "2D" whitening products.

Today's horoscope . . .

Pisces: For the next few weeks, you're going to be quite aggressive, especially when it comes to going after what (or whom) you want. Be warned, though: No matter where you are or who you happen to be chatting with, if someone you're attracted to walks by, you'll just have to excuse yourself and follow. No, this isn't your usual M.O., but that's okay. Every now and then you get to pretend you're someone else.

JIM: So...I went to a Bon Jovi concert last night.

DAVE: Kathy's Christmas gift. How was it? Old man.

JIM: Well, there were A LOT of 41-year-old women there, most of them wearing jeans that I can only assume were what one would call "destructed".

DAVE: So, how are you feeling now that the health care bill was passed?

DAD: I am very pleased that the health care bill was passed and signed. I am not 100% happy with that bill, but it is better than not having a bill. I would have preferred Medicare for everyone, or at least the current bill with a public option. But it is good that the Democrats could pass something in the face of the crazy opposition from the Republicans and the tea party nuts. I believe that the Republicans should not be so smug about saying that this will destroy Obama and the Democrats in the mid-term elections. A lot can happen between now and November. The President will have time to explain the bill to the people and perhaps convince them that it is for their benefit. In November jobs and the employment situation will be more important than health care. If employment numbers improve, people will forget about health care; if they don't, the Democrats will be in trouble. Newt Gingrich said sometime ago that the health care bill will have the same effect as Johnson's passage of the Civil Rights Act: it will give the Republicans an electoral advantage for decades. The two pieces of legislation are not comparable. Health care will benefit more people than even the Civil Rights Act has. Furthermore, can anyone really say that passing the Civil Rights Act was not the right thing to do even given the strong opposition by the bigots? Sometimes you have to do what is right for the country even though it may not be the most popular thing at the time. A side note: Jason Altmire looks pretty stupid now. He will look even worse if he loses his election and many of those who voted for health care win.

Change. A President who follows through with a campaign promise. Is it perfect? No. Is it flawed? Yes. Is it a step in the right direction? Yes. Is it the right thing to do, when that is so often a distant concern? Yes. He's my hero right now. He's the wind beneath my wings.

Busy morning . . .

I have been reluctant to talk much about my "relationship" with Cindy. Despite expressing brutal, often painful honesty in past posts, I have wanted to keep this as sort of something that can be just for me, you know, without having to decide what details to write about and what not to. Which isn't to say that there's been anything to write about. So far. But in the last 24 hours, I asked Cindy if she wanted to have dinner with me, and she said yes. Baby steps.

DAVE: Has Pitt's loss got you down?

JIM: Nah. I've always said that one of the most important things for colleges, and especially college athletics, is tradition. So I feel all warm and fuzzy today.

You see, Mark Nordenberg and Steve Pedersen completely destroyed every single tradition associated with Pitt football. But if there is one tradition still going strong, it's Pitt basketball, always and forever, losing to clearly inferior teams during the NCAA tournament. Doesn't matter whether it's Vanderbilt or Ball State or Utah or Pacific or Oklahoma State or Xavier or...you get the idea. I take comfort in the fact that there is still one long-standing tradition left in Pitt athletics that I can count on.

Except for last year, when they lost to Villanova.

DAVE: Good to hear. Good to hear.

JIM: What's so damn good about it?

DAVE: I can clearly see that you are handling the loss well.

At least Pitt always plays these games close, right down to the buzzer. Or, is that bad, because it breaks your heart?

JIM: Good, bad. Doesn't matter. You just have to accept it. It's tradition.

I'm a 41-year-old man. I want a pair of jeans. But I don't want them "destructed." And I don't want them to have "crotch whiskers."


What the fuck happened to The Gap?

Well, the House passed the health care reform bill without your vote, Mr. Altmire. And now both your Republican and your Democratic constituents all hate you and are protesting outside your office and your house. Sucks to be you. And have fun come re-election time. Asshole.

DAVE: After being subjected to weeks of TV advertising both for and against health care reform and aimed at constituents of Jason Altmire, who apparently is a swing vote in the House, he announced today that he is voting "No" on health care reform. Fucking Democrats have no balls.

DAD: You are right. With the way Altmire has behaved, his district might as well have returned Melissa Hart to the House. They get the same result no matter what. Altmire said on CNN that he had to listen to his constituents. What about voting for what is right for the country and then trying to persuade your constituents that you did the right thing? But that would take balls.

North Shore Connector gets back on track
$10 million cut out of budget; project 70 percent complete
Thursday, March 18, 2010
By Jon Schmitz, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

A year after facing a $117.8 million shortfall and possible shutdown, the North Shore Connector project is alive and well.

Port Authority project director Keith Wargo told a board committee Wednesday that another $10 million has been trimmed from the project, largely through management efficiencies.

Since May, the estimated cost has fallen by $24 million, to $528.8 million, also due in part to lower-than-expected construction bids in the more recent stages of work.

Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10077/1043720-53.stm

I received my Census form this afternoon, and I filled it out using the Waterman fountain pen that Cindy gave me in college. In her own words in a recent email, "You can't argue. That's a kickass pen." And it is.

I am ASTOUNDED at the number of people who do not make use of the handy-dandy vibrate feature on their cell phones when they are out in public. Although, I guess those are the same people who are going to answer their phone and have a very public, often loud conversation anyway.

Milquetoast . . .

Like a lot of people, when I come across a word that I don't know, I want to know what it means. Being a lifelong educator, I always turned to the dictionary for my definitions. And I still do, although I will admit to having turned more and more to the technology of the Internet that effortlessly brings me things like Dictionary.com. I mean, how easy is that. I happen to be in a phase where I'm not reading any books, so I do most of my reading these days on the computer, and the computer seems like a pretty logical place to get a quick definition. But that doesn't mean that I still don't sometimes walk across the room, get the same red Webster's New World Dictionary Third College Edition Updated 1994 Edition and look up a word with the dictionary opened up on the floor or on the edge of my bed.

Regardless of where I get my definitions, it's always so cool to me to learn a new word. And invariably, as soon as I learn it, I seem to encounter it in the next week or so. I always joke that I will hear the word three times right after I learn it, but that doesn't seem to happen as often as I think it will. But in the interest of entertaining, informing, and educating my vast and loyal readership, I will share with you that my newest word is milquetoast. It's pronounced "milk toast," rather that "milky toast" which is how I pronounced it in my head the first time I came across it. I don't remember the online article it came from, but I did look in up and found that a milquetoast is a meek, timid man. Just like toast soaked in milk would be pretty soppy. And the word has a crazy history of having its origin be an unassertive comic strip character named Caspar Milquetoast who was first introduced in 1924 in "The Timid Soul" by American cartoonist H. T. Webster. And I learned all of this from Dictionary.com. So cool.

Now, I know that the Kindle and similar book-machines have a dictionary built right in that you can use to look up any word in any book that you read. And I can recognize that that, too, is very cool. However, to this point in my life, I have decided to stick with actual books over the electronic versions out there. I don't know how long I will maintain that position, but for now, it's how I roll.

Shortly after I learned my new word, I heard Hannah Storm use it on ESPN. That's been the only time I've heard it. It's such an obscure word, that I don't really expect to encounter it two more times. But now that you know it, maybe you will.

My boss Andy and I were talking today about how good the Arizona Cardinals are going to be next season with Ben Roethlisberger as their quarterback.

JIM: Corey Haim died.

DAVE: Corey Haim was a tortured soul. His friend Corey Feldman wept when he heard of his death.

JIM: They are (or were) definitely two Lost Boys.

DAVE: Indeed, they were. Remember when Corey Feldman was all into being like Michael Jackson? Hollywood really fucks some people up.

When Cindy and I were in college, shortly after we broke up, she gave me a very nice Waterman fountain pen for Christmas. It was, one could argue, the perfect gift for a budding writer at the time. It may well be the best gift I have ever received. In the words of John Cusack in 1989's movie "Say Anything," I gave her my heart. She gave me a pen.

Antwaan Randle El is coming back to the Steelers. It's a good thing. We may need a quarterback.

Speaking of movies, on Oscar Sunday . . .

Today I finally reached a point in my life. I am ready to go to an afternoon movie by myself. And I was so excited that I was going to be able to go to a movie of my choosing on Oscar Sunday. But when I went to check the local theater listings, I found that there are NO MOVIES that I want to see. These are my choices:

Shutter Island (too scary)
Alice in Wonderland
Alice in Wonderland: in Disney Digital 3D
The Last Station
Crazy Heart
Avatar
The Crazies
Brooklyn's Finest (possibly, but I don't like to go to a movie on its opening weekend in case it bombs)
Cop Out
Dear John
Valentine's Day

I guess all the good movies have moved on already. So, no movie for me today. But I'm ready. I just need a movie that I actually want to see.


Shortly after I wrote this post, I finally became the last person in America to join Netflix. The movies that I want to see are on their way right to my home. So much for a weekend afternoon at the movie theater.

Squirrel Hill movie theater closes
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
By Barbara Vancheri, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

After more than seven decades, the Squirrel Hill Theater on Forward Avenue has closed. The decision will have no effect, owners say, on the nearby Manor Theater which will continue to operate.

"It is with deep regret that I am faced with the decision to close the Squirrel Hill Theater," owner Richard Stern said in a statement today. "It is no longer an economically viable operation and we can no longer sustain the losses which we have experienced over the past two years."

Mr. Stern added that the Manor remains profitable and is not in jeopardy of going dark. "It remains the premier specialized film venue in Pittsburgh. We will explore other alternatives and opportunities to fill the void in the market caused by closing the six screens at the Squirrel Hill Theater."

Look what I found among my collection of cassette tapes. Now, what the heck am I going to do with this?

DAVE: SIDNEY CROSBY! NATIONAL HERO! LOVED BY CANADIANS! LOVED BY PITTSBURGHERS!

JIM: Dude, you're an American.

DAVE: Oh, Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

JIM: America. Love it or leave it.

You pinko commie.

DAVE: You're the second person to call me that in the last month.

JIM: You called yourself that.

DAVE: I said that if I started wearing wool socks in the summer, then that would make me a communist. Ian called me a "pinko commie" just a couple of weeks ago. It's nice to know how my friends view me.

DAVE: Did you happen to hear what Tony Kornheiser said about Hannah Storm last week? I missed it, and I'm just curious.

JIM: Heard about it on the radio this morning. Apparently, he criticized the way that she dresses and pointed out how inappropriate he thinks it is for someone her age. And wasn't very nice about it. I'm guessing the issue is more with publicly criticizing a co-worker that he has to work with more than anything else. If he would have said the same things about any woman who works for another network, it probably wouldn't have been as big a deal. But that's just a guess.

DAVE: I've thought that before about Hannah Storm.

Of course, her choice of outfits has also sometimes caused me to imagine what it would be like to throw her over the back of a couch and . . . talk sports.

JIM: You could probably google the issue if you wanted more info. And google pictures of Hannah Storm.

DAVE: As it stands now, I get to see Hannah when I watch SportsCenter in the morning, so I'm good. Love those knee-high leather boots.

JIM: http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/post/ESPN-suspends-Tony-Kornheiser-for-criticizing-an?urn=top,221690

You'll have to google the Hannah pics on your own.

DAVE: Thank you.

I saw the outfit. It was pretty bad.

Two and a half weeks after the storm . . .

DAVE: My dentist asked me today why there is still snow in the right-hand lane of Fifth going outbound between Aiken and Negley.

BP: Sent it in every day since last Friday – no response.