After learning from my blog that I had left the doggie daycare . . .

JIM: But what will you do with your wool socks?

DAVE: Funny you should ask. Historically, I have not been a big fan of socks. This you may remember from college. But I have really taken to my wool socks. They are not as itchy as wool socks used to be. And they are pretty easy to pull on and off, which is a small but significant thing because my age, my belly, and my bad left shoulder sometimes make putting on socks a little challenging. They are warm, which is an obvious plus in the winter, and most importantly, because they are thicker than my normal socks, my shoes seem to fit better. I will still need them, I can assure you. I will be walking dogs outside for [my new employer].

JIM: Well, that is all good news. I was afraid those socks were going to languish in your sock drawer and go to waste.

DAVE: You know, they make my shoes fit so much better than the flimsy little socks I wear when I wear socks that I'm thinking of continuing to wear them, even in the summer. Although, I think that would officially make me a communist.

JIM: Maybe you just need different size shoes.

For the dress socks that I need to wear to work every day, I've started wearing socks made of bamboo. They make my feet sweat much less and are much more comfortable.

DAVE: My problem, I'm afraid, is that I have rather thin feet. They're not small. They're . . . average. But they're thin, and in order to get thin shoes for men, you have to special order them. And that ain't gonna happen. But wool socks that are thicker than average socks seem to fill in the gaps rather nicely.

My feet don't sweat a lot. I'm lucky that way. It's interesting, though, how they're starting to make things like socks out of all sorts of things.

JIM: Go with the bamboo. It's trendy.

DAVE: That's what I hear.

Lots going on today. Lots to share with my vast and loyal readership.

Interesting article about seniors smoking marijuana:

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_SENIORS_MARIJUANA?SITE=PAPIT&SECTION=NATIONAL&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

DAVE: I'm torn today. USA beat Canada. Great. I'm American. But I lived in Canada for two years, and I really like Canada. And Sidney Crosby plays for the Penguins. What's a hockey fan to do?

JIM: USA! USA!

Sidney Crosby is a punk. If he was on any other team, he would be the hockey player that you most hate.

DAVE: Why do you hate Crosby so much? Is it because he is so often compared to your beloved Gretzky?

I still like Canada. They have universal health care.

JIM: Crosby is a punk. Maybe he'll mature into a decent human being someday, but as of now, he is a spoiled punk. That's not a knock on his skill as a hockey player, just a knock on him as a person.

DAVE: Wow. You sound like a . . . like a . . . like a . . . Flyers fan. Shocking.

DAVE: Here's another photo that I scanned and sent to Focker. So young. So stupid.

FF: Which one is Focker? And is that Julie the Virgin? Your hair is so dark. You look so Italian.

DAVE: My hair used to be very dark. Until it decided to start turning gray.

Focker is the one on the far right. And yes, that is Julie the Virgin.

I don't get a lot of mail. But some of it is pretty interesting. I wonder how I got on their mailing list? Hmm. I wonder.

DAVE: Jim Bibby died.

DAD: I saw that in the paper here. The news report did not mention his time with the Pirates although he was in a World Series with them. It mentioned other teams for whom he pitched. Shows you what people think of the Pirates.

Listening to old cassette tapes of The Who would not be nearly as pleasant without auto reverse. Very significant invention in the history of the cassette tape.

Today was my last day at the doggie daycare. I am leaving to explore other opportunities in the dog care industry. More about that later. This is my horoscope for today:


You've been playing around with a certain hobby for a while, and it's suddenly dawned on you that you really and truly might be able to make a full-time job of this -- or at least a part-time source of income. It's a good idea and you shouldn't dismiss it. You might, however, want to come up with a solid plan before you quit your day job, that is. Get out some legal pads and start scribbling.

DAVE: Jim Bibby died.

JIM: No way.

Was he sick?

DAVE: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10048/1036522-100.stm

I always liked Jim Bibby.

JIM: I told my wife this morning that Jim Bibby died. I didn't expect that she would know who that was, but sometimes she surprises you with these things. Like I'll make a crack to someone about Paul Mokeski's mustache or something like that and she'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Not this time though.

Anyway, my son started asking questions and when I told him that Bibby pitched for the Pirates when they won the World Series, he said, "When was that, back in the 30s or 40s?"

I wasn't sure if that would make you laugh or cry.

And of course you always liked Jim Bibby. We always remember the World Series heroes from our youth fondly.

DAVE: Jim Bibby was an extraordinary perspirer. His giant frame on the mound, just dripping sweat from every angle. They still talk about it. Whenever a player is a heavy perspirer, they get compared to Jim Bibby. He set the standard.

DAVE: I have to show you this photo from college [of Cindy and me]. Everyone who's seen it has agreed that she has aged better than I have. Oh, to be young again.

FF: Your skin is so smooth and supple. More so than hers. And you have a turtleneck on. Hilarious. One could photo shop your hair out, insert your new hair, and think it was Dave circa 2010. Bravo my friend, for staying out of the sun.

DAVE: The Galleria is so far away. I don't understand why people live out there. Cindy lives in Mt. Lebanon.

FF: Everyone moves there when they get married and have kids. The school district! The community! Blah, blah, blah. If I had a dollar for every time someone I knew said to me, "It was the best choice for our family" I'd be rich. Diversity, a thriving arts scene, culture, pot holes, smog, City Council wars...THESE are the things that build character! I'm never moving out of the city. And I don't think City schools are all that bad. Really. It depends on the kid and the family. Look at Precious. She did pretty well in the City school system. If you've got a smart and disciplined kid, they'll do well no matter where they are.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10047/1036236-100.stm

And now he's playing hide and seek with the media. Seriously, is he okay? It's starting to not be funny anymore. I'm worried about him. Poor kid.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10047/1036236-100.stm

"Mayoral spokeswoman Joanna Doven said she did not know Mr. Ravenstahl's whereabouts today but he is in Pittsburgh."

As opposed to, say, Seven Springs . . . ?

This just in . . . Press Release from the Mayor's Office from EXACTLY two years ago today . . .

MAYOR HEATS UP DPW'S RESPONSE TO WINTER WEATHER

Date: February 15, 2008
Contact: Alecia Sirk, Press Secretary, 412-255-2484
(mobile) 412-287-7808
alecia.sirk@city.pittsburgh.pa.us

PITTSBURGH (February 15) Mayor Luke Ravenstahl is fired up about the the Department of Public Works inconsistent removal of snow and ice, the remnants of which have left some side streets impassable.

After fielding complaints from a number of residents, the Mayor cancelled his afternoon meetings Thursday for a tour of City neighborhoods, to see for himself where travel routes were still frozen.

"I am putting my full attention on getting these issues resolved," Mayor Ravenstahl said. Sure, Mother Nature can deal us a rough hand in the winter months. But we should not make excuses, we should make changes."

Mayor Ravenstahl convened a meeting with top City officials after returning to the office and, effective today, the Mayor has announced the implementation of a snow and ice mitigation plan for Pittsburgh:

1. The promotion of Rob Kaczorowski to Deputy Director of Operations for the Department of Public Works, a move that will require no pay increase. The Deputy Director, to serve under DPW Director Guy Costa, will be charged with supervising and managing all operations for the Department, including snow and ice removal. Current Deputy Director Mike Gable will be named Deputy Director of Administration, charged with supervising the administrative aspects of Pittsburgh's largest non-public safety related department.

2. The purchase of the best state-of-the-art snow removal and routing system available. The system will be in place no later than December 2008. Staff will also be benchmarking Pittsburgh against other cities to identify and evaluate best practices that could be useful for Pittsburgh.

3. The installation of snow plows onto refuse trucks for use on larger, primary streets, freeing up other trucks to clear the side streets.

4. The requirement that existing snow and ice removal routes will be adhered to, barring a major emergency, regardless of who calls the Department or the City.

"For decades, plows have been inefficiently being moved from one part of the City to another based on calls to City and Council offices, wasting time and missing entire sections of neighborhoods," Mayor Ravenstahl said. "The existing snowplow and deicing routes will be followed for the remainder of this winter, sticking to their plans and cleaning every neighborhood, street by street and block by block."

Then changes come just before a week in which at least three days of flurries are predicted.

"We can do better and we will do better, " Mayor Ravenstahl said. "All of our resources should be mobilized when our residents need us. With these changes, I will see to it that the City doesn't melt down when faced with snow and ice."

Dave and Bill Peduto, talking about snow . . .

DAVE: Hi, Bill. Obviously, you have been inundated with emails from residents all over the City. I'm sure that I have little to add to what others have already said. However, one thing that I'm quite sure that you don't know about me is that I lived in Toronto for two years. So, I have experienced winter on levels that many Pittsburghers can only imagine. And, of course, because of its climate and being a major metropolitan area, they deal with big snow storms a little differently than we do. The major difference is that they don't plow it or salt it, but rather they simply pick it up and take it somewhere. I can't say that I know where they take it. Lake Ontario? Regardless, they pick it up, so there are no massive monoliths of ice and snow left behind on streets that have been cleared. Those massive piles of snow will eventually (and hopefully) melt someday, leaving sheets of ice to form all over the City, which will then be cause for alarm and a lot of salt from Public Works. Maybe our city doesn't get enough major snow storms to justify exploring such a strategy, but maybe exploring such a strategy while there are open discussions about snow storm response is not a bad idea. When I was living and going to high school in Toronto, a snowfall of 20 inches, and we were in school the next day at regular time. That city knows what it takes to deal with a snow storm. But, of course, they have many years of experience.

BILL: The major problem is that we have NO strategy. Really - none.

DAVE: I see. Well, do you have Guy Costa's phone number?

BILL: Already spoke with him - twice.

DAVE: Can you call Toronto and ask them for some advice?

BILL: it really is basic operation protocol - just google routesmart and then snowplow tracker and snow removal - it is boilerplate policy in other cities - I know, I know - because Luke and co won't do it.

DAVE: Why won't he do it? Because it was your idea?

BILL: Funny - no, I am just saying that I have been trying to push "professional management systems" for plowing, paving and other dpw operations for the past several years. During this time, the Mayor has stated that we don't' need it or there was no interest in pursuing it. Really - just look online.

Maybe this storm will finally compel the administration to change their mind or maybe it will compel people to actively demand these types of reforms.

Or maybe not...

Either way, I will keep pushing.

DAVE: But I wonder why he doesn't see the potential benefits of professional management systems. That's the part that befuddles me. That's why people (like me) joke that it's just because the ideas are yours.

Sometimes Rob Rogers just says it better than I can . . .

DAVE: How do you feel about the seemingly inevitable defeat of health care reform? I consider it a monumental failure and a very ominous sign for the future.

DAD: I am not so sure that the defeat of health care reform is inevitable. Obama and the Democratic Congress may yet salvage something out of the current wreck. It does not look good, however. I do agree that if nothing is passed this year, it is a very bad sign for the future. It may yet be another 10-15 years before we can get anything done. It is just another indication that our government in Washington is incapable of doing anything.

It appears that the Father has gone crazy . . .

FATHER: Hi Everyone:

I hope that this email does not offend any pet friendly feelings and I have mentioned before that I am a pet friendly person and used to have a dog myself. The purchase of pet friendly salt is an issue that bothers me.

I feel that indivduals should take personal responsiblity for what they do...and what they own. this includes their pets.
I do not feel that this responsiblity should be a cost placed on the Condo Association. Perhaps we should charge a one time yearly fee on condo pet owners if a decision is made to purchase this salt. Everyone should not have to share this burden.

Our condo is a pet friendly condo. That means that we allow pets in the building. It should not mean that the Condo has the obligation to take care of them. That is the owners' responsibility.

The January 16, 2010 [Post-Gazette article] that Dave had referred us to a few weeks ago recommends that pet owners buy and use Musher's Secret on their pets' paws during the winter snow season. That's what should be done if they are that concerned about the health of their pets.

For these reasons I am not in favor of spending any extra money for pet friendly salt. This is not the responsibility or the obligation of the Condo Association but that of the individual pet owner.

To my knowledge, "It's Hard" was the last album of new material that The Who ever released. It's release coincided with their Final Tour in 1982. I've had the cassette tape of "It's Hard" ever since Jon Beckerman gave it to me on the school bus that took us to school in 9th grade. He didn't think that it was that good. And he was right. But I kept it all of this time. With all of the hoopla surrounding The Who's Super Bowl appearance, and being cooped up inside all week while work was closed, I have been listening to all of my cassette tapes of The Who. I have more cassette tapes than CDs of the band. It was a cassette era when I was discovering, listening to, and growing into The Who. I listened to those cassettes over and over again on my Sony Walkman (which now sits on my mantel as if it were a relic from another time). Anyway, in the process of listening to all of these tapes, I have discovered what I already feared to be true. "It's Hard" has completely lost its fidelity. I have to toss it. But listening to these tapes is a purging process that is also part of a larger project of throwing away all non-essential tapes in my collection. Things are not looking good for Genesis. But I think The Police will make the cut. I like my cassette tapes. Although notoriously reluctant to embrace new technology most of the time, I thought CDs were great, and I think digital music is great. But cassette tapes remind me of a simpler time. Of driving to Monroeville Mall on a Sunday afternoon and looking at the wall of cassette tapes for sale at National Record Mart. It could be overwhelming, not unlike the scene in the movie "Moscow on the Hudson" when Robin Williams playing a Russian defector goes to an American supermarket for the first time and goes down the coffee isle, ultimately passing out because he is overwhelmed by the number of choices just for coffee. Anyway, it was a simpler time. Maybe half of my tape collection are previously blank TDK or Maxell tapes (sold in two-packs) on which friends had recorded albums that they had. Either from CDs, or in some cases, from records. Yes, record albums. 33 1/3 rpm. My cassette tapes of "Who's Last" and the amazing "Quadrophenia" were both recorded from records. I borrowed the two records from my friend Mike in 11th or 12th grade and then taped them on my ridiculous excuse for a stereo at the time. But it got the job done, and I'm still listening to those tapes today. They may be analog cassette tape recordings of analog record albums. But they haven't lost their fidelity. And that's what matters. I'm keeping them.

As many of my vast readership know, I love turtlenecks. One problem I face when shopping for turtlenecks is finding a good one where the neck is snug around mine. Not tight. But definitely not flopping around all over the place. I don't believe that a turtleneck's neck should sag on a person's neck, but rather stay upright. Now, I realize that it would probably be easier to find a more snug neck if I didn't have to buy size Large because my belly is not proportional with the rest of my body. And I have longer than normal arms, too. So, I'm stuck with a Large, and often the necks are just that. When my neck is swimming in a turtleneck's tubular top, I sometimes fold it down. But that's not the way that I like to wear them. Nice and snug.

I just realized something. Ashton Kutcher's life is way too good. That's it. His life is just too good. No one's life should be that good.

MICHELLE: According to my media sources, a whole road crew stopped to watch the Super Bowl. Apparently Marty Griffin is on the story!!

DAVE: I suspect that a lot of inappropriate behavior by truck drivers has contributed to this disaster. City workers. Nothing ever seems to happen to them. But they get a pension in a world where pensions are practically obsolete. I'd be willing to bet there were a bunch of trucks that stopped to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday.

This is the obligatory, standard, Facebook-quality photo of my car in the snow from the first storm.

Email from Bill Peduto . . .

All –

Thank you for taking the time to email about the unacceptable condition of our City streets. I am not satisfied with the response of the City and I shared my frustration with the Mayor in a conference call this afternoon. During that call, I also urged the Mayor to hire private contractors to help get the job done. Right now, we need to focus on getting streets in better condition before the worst part of the next storm hits. It is my belief that the City has done a good job responding to public safety issues. We have worked hard to restore electricity across the City. We have provided safe routes for paramedics and called in the National Guard to assist where needed. However, the snow plowing has not met my expectations or the expectations of taxpayers. Today, I traveled to the suburbs and saw streets that were completely cleared, while major arteries within the city limits remained snow covered. The problems are not just in my district and in the east end, but exist citywide. I am hearing from residents across the City, as well as my Council colleagues, about major streets that are still dangerous to drive on. This is unacceptable and must be changed.

Once this storm is over, I will be calling for both a post agenda and a public hearing to determine where the failures in operations were. We need to implement a results based operation plan. We need to set goals and timelines where people are held accountable for meeting those goals. We need to implement new computer software that models the most effective route system (this is something I have pushed for for several years). We also need to look at gps tracking on our plows so that residents can look online and see where the plows are in real time. Lastly, we need to analyze how many trucks and workers are needed to complete the streets in 48 hours and make the necessary changes.

I will work with my Council colleagues to address all these issues for the future and we will work to guarantee that the City is accountable to its citizens. For now, I remain focused on trying to get your streets cleared as quickly as possible. Today, I pushed the Mayor to get more resources on the street and will do so again tomorrow. I have also asked him to let the public know when people can expect their street plowed and not settle for what has been delivered to date.

I appreciate you taking the time to email me. I apologize for the frustration that we have all been experiencing together and I assure you I am equally frustrated and will not settle for the status quo.

I will keep you posted. Be safe.

Bill Peduto

Did you know that as we age, our visible upper lip gets smaller. It's true. You can look it up. It's happened to me.

Behind Blue Eyes . . .

While it feels like the whole world is snowed-in today, I have been forced to find things to entertain me while I put off the inevitable need to venture outside. Right now I am listening to a cassette tape of the Final Who Concert, which I listened to and recorded on my Sony boombox before they were called boomboxes in my bedroom on a night in 1982. Because of my notes on the cassette, I know that the year was 1982, which would put me in 6th or 7th grade, although I didn't note the exact date. I think it was winter. I think it was a Friday night. The cassette is a TDK SA-C90 high bias tape, which was a very good quality cassette tape at the time. Anyway, I was a young lad, and I didn't really know a lot about The Who. I just knew from the chatter at school and on the radio that this final concert from a Canadian city called Toronto that I knew virtually nothing about was a big deal. (Little did I know the immeasurable impact the city of Toronto, Canada would have on my entire life.) So, I decided to spend my Friday night both listening to and recording the concert live on radio station 96 KX. If I remember correctly, I might have dozed off a few times during the concert.

Since I apparently only had one blank cassette tape, I only ended up with the first 90 minutes of the Final Who Concert. And I started listening to it. And I liked it. A lot. It was music unlike any other music that I had ever listened to before. I listened to it over and over again. And that was it. I was a Who fan. And even though I think that The Who are a little old now to be performing at the Super Bowl XLIV Bridgestone Halftime Show tomorrow, I will enjoy seeing and hearing the two old guys rock. I will probably still be snowed-in.

Thanks to Facebook and Google, I have been able to establish email communication with an old girlfriend from college, Cindy. What we have here is not a Leigh situation. This is not a girl on whom I had some adolescent crush. I dated Cindy in college. Dated far too briefly. For reasons that aren't important here. But I consider her one of the three loves of my life. But in many ways, the greatest mystery. What separates her from all of the other women I've ever dated is that I think she was genuinely spiritual. I don't think it was a put-on. She was the real deal. I once caught up to her in the rain between classes, and she was wearing a yellow rain slicker like you might find on Paddington Bear. She was unique. She was the epitome of beautiful to me in college. It was about as close as love at first sight as I've ever experienced. And she looks terrific now, tremendous for our age. I'm going to enjoy emailing with her. Today, and for today only, Facebook is the shit.

Surrounded at work by a few of my friends.

DAVE: I think that one major misstep since Obama took office was the seeming rush Geithner was in to declare the worst of the recession over last fall. Even then, I felt that the economy was far from recovered, and I knew that jobs would continue to be lost, which is ultimately the indicator by which most Americans judge the economy. The Stock Market slowly went up, but jobs continued to be lost. Now, the Stock Market is starting to respond to the continued loss of jobs. And there is really no reason to believe that the recession has hit the bottom, yet. I know, of course, that the economy was something that his administration inherited. But despite the obvious desire to see the recession bottom-out, saying it has happened doesn't mean that it's happened.


Also, I want your opinion on this. Do you feel that Toyota is being treated fairly by the government and media? One, I doubt that the company has done anything wrong that the American automakers haven't done. Two, is the media being harder on Toyota because it's a foreign carmaker? Regardless, I would drive a Toyota over an American car any day.

DAD: There are reports recently that Toyota has known about its problems (gas pedal and brakes) for over two years and did not do a recall, inform the owners or the government, or take any steps to correct the problems. If that is true, it is a serious offense and Toyota should be dealt with harshly. The fact that American manufacturers may also have covered up problems does not excuse Toyota. Most of the cars with the problems were made right here in the U.S. at Toyota's American factories. So there is no reason to want to punish Toyota more severely because they are headquartered in Japan. Any downturn in Toyota production could cost American workers' jobs.

One of the missteps of the Obama administration was to have a timid stimulus package. More money should have been spent on rebuilding our infrastructure. Part of the reason it was so timid was an attempt to get Republican votes, which they are never going to get anyway, and the other part was because Obama's chief economic advisor is Larry Summers (from the Clinton administration) instead of Paul Krugman. Both Summers and Geithner are too closely tied to Wall Street. We need a tax on banks that have not repaid the TARP money, a tax on excess bonuses to Wall Street executives, and closer regulation of the financial sector (returning to the days when there was a separation between commercial banks and investment banks). But you are right -- the recession is not over until jobs return.

FF: Today is [FF's significant other]'s birthday.

We went to REI last night. They have the same policy as LL Bean. The policy I protested to you for years. One of the stoner REI employees (a camping specialist, go figure) explained it to us in great detail (he used the word 'Dude' nearly a dozen times). I never really understood how you were able to get away with what you did in terms of returns to LL Bean. Now I understand. Ten years from now, if FFSO doesn't like his new Garmin Running Watch because he stops running and gains 100 pounds, we can return it. No questions asked. We just need to keep the receipt for 10 years. Freakin' tree huggers....

DAVE: Wish FFSO a happy birthday for me. How old is he?

REI is cool, although very pricey, as I'm sure you know. The key to having to make returns to stores with lifetime guarantees is that you have to keep the receipt. Without it, you're screwed.

FF: The big 3-5. Halfway to 40 from 30.

REI IS pricey. You said it! But those 'dudes' are so nice and helpful. They live for that shit. Mr. Dude Camping expert told me he has lit his sleeping bag on fire numerous times and has had it replaced numerous times. For free. He had the receipt tattooed to his buttock.

FF: You might want to pick up a copy of Architectural Digest and feast your eyes on Jennifer Aniston's sanctuary....

DAVE: I'd like nothing better than to feast my eyes on Jennifer Aniston's sanctuary.


Wait. Are we talking about the same thing?

FF: Very funny. Very, very funny.

I was on Facebook last night, and I just happened to notice that my sister has un-friended me. A) I can't believe that she did that. And B) I can't believe that this has happened to me twice. TWICE! I don't even care about Facebook! So, I guess the little email that I sent my sister after I left Florida must not have gone over very well. My sister un-friended me. Not a call. Not an email. That could only happen to me.

At Penn Station East Coast Subs, when you place your order for take-out, they ask for a name for the order so that they can call it out when it's ready to go. So, of course, I always say my name is "Dave." It didn't take long for the regular employees of the place to recognize me as a regular customer. This one fellow who works there bellows out a big "DAVE" when I walk into the store. I think his name is Joe. Anyway, last night he was ringing up my large Philadelphia cheesesteak with lettuce, tomato, mayo, and spicy brown mustard, and we had a brief conversation about the merits of Penn Station East Coast Subs over similar sub places like Subway. We both agreed that Subway gives you very little meat, and the machine that they say makes their subs "hot" is little more than a glorified microwave oven that just makes the subs nasty.

Did you know that 25% of all of the pensions in the United States are in Pennsylvania? And I'm sure that some of the members of my vast readership who live in Pennsylvania have heard how many of the municipal pension funds across the state are grossly underfunded. I heard an estimate yesterday that the City of Pittsburgh only has 35% of the money necessary to cover its pension obligation. That's a pretty big shortfall. I wonder what the Boy Mayor is going to do, now that his "university tuition tax" seems to have faded away.

I have just now learned that J.D. Salinger died on Wednesday. As some of my vast readership know, I was a high school English teacher in what seems like another lifetime. I taught "The Catcher in the Rye." It wasn't one of my favorites, but I thought it was still a good book to read with high school students. It's considered a classic. And I can tell you from experience that there are frequently questions on "Jeopardy!" about the reclusive author and his novel.

His obituary is an interesting read, if you're, well, interested.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10029/1031902-84.stm

I need winter socks. Wool socks. I don't like them, but I need them if I'm going to be outside walking dogs on the coldest days of the winter. So, knowing that it's late in the season and local stores would most likely be out of or have very little selection of wool socks, I went to the ultimate source for all things wool: Woolrich.com. I ordered two pairs of good, solid, ragg wool socks like I used to wear when I lived in Toronto. They were not cheap. $12 a pair. And then $5.95 for shipping, for a total of $30 for two pairs of socks. But they're Woolrich, baby. Rich with wool.

DAVE: I haven't been on Facebook recently. What's going on with you and the little family, family man Focker?

FOCKER: oh my, the usual, but all is going well.
i'm afraid to tell you that your wedding gift to us (coffee maker) just recently died as the carafe cracked. i think that's the incredible news for you.
lots of contemplative thoughts about getting on in life. interesting seeing a lot of these people on facebook...just perusing. interesting, i don't see brian or mike as any of chris's friends but i saw will was on there.
what's up with you? you still doing the dog trainer thing? how's your health?

DAVE: You can't just get a new carafe?


Have you joined a fantasy football league yet? It's what every male does here. I'm not into it. Outsider Dave.

FOCKER: hmmm, i wonder how you get a new carafe rather than a whole new machine...interesting....

no, i don't do fantasy football, just like i don't play poker, gamble, or drink coors light.

DAVE: Good old Focker.

I just took the Jeopardy! Online Contestant Test, and I got SMOKED!!! The questions were HARD. REALLY HARD. Too hard for me. Smoked.

There has been a Steely McBeam sighting.

Saturday

DAVE: When I got up this morning, I found a stink bug in my kitchen.

Sunday

JIM: My wife found one upstairs in our house yesterday.

DAVE: It's weird how they just, appear. And then they just sit there.

Until I kill them.

JIM: Yeah. Weird.

I drove by the new Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC today. Truly, a glorious looking building from the outside, a gem in the Pittsburgh landscape. And it cost a billion dollars, I think. That's a lot of money. No wonder UPMC has to close their satellite hospital in Braddock (where poor people live, many of them without health care insurance). That's as much money as the new Yankee Stadium cost to build. And I think the new Cowboys Stadium cost at least that much.

And when they started, there was already a hospital there. Does anyone remember St. Francis? Listen to me. I sound like I work for the Chamber of Commerce. Which I would never do. Because I'm far too anti-social. And because I would probably have to work with the Boy Mayor. And that just plain ain't happening.

As I was saying, I drove by the new Children's Hospital today, and I couldn't help but notice the handful of folks perched out on the sidewalk in front of the building, fighting the swirling wind, to smoke their cigarettes. While presumably, their children were in the hospital being treated for something or other. I know it's commonplace nowadays to see people puffing away hurriedly, visitors and staff alike, out on the sidewalks that border Pittsburgh's many hospitals. But it always makes me cringe just a little bit more when I see it at Magee Women's Hospital and at Children's.

In the last week, I ate two things for the first time: Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust Pizza and the previously scoffed at McDonald's Big Mac Snack Wrap. Both were scrumptious. Especially the Big Mac Snack Wrap. All of the deliciousness of a Big Mac without the three levels of bun. So tasty.

DAVE: I am one of those people who actually believe that health care reform is necessary to save the United States from becoming like California. Or worse. So, although it may seem dramatic, people like me (and there are many of them) fear that any major obstacle to Obama and his agenda will cause this country to never, I repeat, never come out of this recession, but rather probably continue to get worse. Now, I know that a lot of people don't want to hear that, that the great United States of America would never let that happen. But GM and the great model for the rest of the country California have already gone down. What's to stop the whole country from imploding? Ah. Except astronomical income taxes. Yes, that might save us from ourselves in the short term. And we all know how much people like tax increases, no matter how small. How will they react to their income taxes doubling, I wonder.

JIM: Yeah. Only the government can solve all of our problems.

DAVE: Well, I don't think "we" are doing a very good job, so who else is left to do it?

JIM: Fine. You win.

DAVE: No, damnit, I don't win. We all lose.

JIM: Especially people on welfare, for one example, who are incentivized to sit around on their asses and wait for that government check every month that makes their lives so much better and solves all of their problems. Can't wait until we're all like that.

DAVE: I would love to continue this conversation, because I think it has genuine merit, but I have to get ready for work. I understand what you are saying. And no one wants to hear the doom and gloom that I sometimes espouse.

JIM: There are obviously big problems in this country. And there are no easy solutions to most of them.

DAVE: Agreed.

DAVE: Okay. Back from work. I thought about our earlier conversation a lot while I was at work. I have a lot of time to think at work. Which is not always a good thing. The thing about the government is that it has the power to "manipulate" certain aspects of our economy that the "free market" may not be able to do in a favorable way for citizens and the economy. This is the kind of manipulation that you don't hear too many republicans or businesses complaining about because it favors the country.

For instance, since the real estate bubble has burst, as you know, the government bailed out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Well, rather than kick every person who can't afford their mortgage out into the street, thus causing a tremendous flooding of the housing market with available homes and thus, causing the prices to go down much further than they already have, the mortgage companies have taken over the properties, but are now "renting" the homes to the buyers to keep the market stable. The government is very purposely and intentionally trying to control the housing market. Without their involvement, the market would be oversaturated with available properties all over the country, and we would all likely see our property values plummet. Plummet. Our recession as we know it would be a full-blown depression with soaring inflation, increased unemployment, and, as I said, no property value. But the government is "controlling" that. In addition to other, pretty important aspects of our economy. Unfortunately, the government can't magically create the vast amount of jobs necessary to get people back to work. But, they still try.

I have heard the arguments against "big government" ever since I was a republican myself. Should we have to depend on government to take care of us? No. But as a country, I think that we have more than demonstrated that if left to our own devices, we will screw over everybody we can for our own personal gain. Bernie Madoff is not a unique individual in our society. He is emblematic of our society.

JIM: Like I said before, you win.

DAVE: Fine.


I probably should win.

Email from the Father . . .

I've been doing this blog for so long that I'm beginning to have trouble remembering if I've talked about certain things or certain people before. Anyway, there is an older priest who has a condo in my building, and who is also on the condo association's board, along with me and a couple of other characters. The Father appears to be gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), and sometimes his emails are just hysterical. Here is a recent one on the topic of changing our building's rock salt supply to a dog-friendly alternative:


FATHER: Hi Everyone:

I used to have a dog and when I would take him out in the snow I would always clean his paws after our walks.

I am in favor of this pet friendly de-icer if it does not cost more than our regular salt.

I would even be in favor of it more if it cost less than our regular salt!

Thanks to Facebook, I can post a photo of Leigh from when she was in college. She's certainly wearing a lot of red, but I think she was a cheerleader or something. Love that hair.

Typical Pittsburgh January weather today: rain all day. It makes me miss the cold and snow.

DAVE: Just to further demonstrate how insane Cyril Wecht is, he is now considering running for Governor.

DAD: Years ago Wecht ran for U. S. Senate against Sen. John Heinz, who was then running for his second term. Wecht got swamped by about 3-1. He said that the problem was "name recognition." My reaction to that was: "Yes, the people who did not know him forgot to vote for him or voted for Heinz because he was better known. And the people who did know Wecht refused to vote for him because of what they knew about him." The man's ego and arrogance know no bounds.

DAVE: The daycare put a single ad on craigslist for a couple of new employees who would be working part-time for $7/hour under the table. They had over 50 responses, many of whom were from grossly overqualified, unemployed professionals. I may differ with the President on this issue, but the recession in this country will not be over until there are jobs for people, and I fear that that won't happen anytime in the near future. I don't give a shit what the other economic indicators say about the economy. We have created technology that has put ourselves out of work, and rebuilding infrastructure is not going to take care of that.

JIM: Send me the link. I'm ready to apply.

DAVE: Very funny. But this is a serious problem.

JIM: Yeah, that's it. I was joking.

DAVE: That's cool that you have Hooligans on CD. I'm pretty sure from my inquiries that it isn't available anymore. But I listened to my cassette over the weekend, and it's still rocking.

JIM: Jerry's Records was a gold mine for finding great used CDs. but you had to be there at the right time and get lucky because they always got grabbed up fast. I think there was probably a point in time where I would stop by there at least once every day to see what they had in.

DAVE: Meanwhile, I think I was still buying cassettes back then. Like most new technology, I was a little late coming to the CD party.

JIM: My parents bought me a CD player when I went off to college, even though I never really asked for one. When it comes to that, I have to give them credit for being ahead of me on that one.

I have just learned that McDonald's is now offering a Big Mac Snackwrap.


That's not right. No, sir.

Despite my varied musical tastes, if I had to pick one album that I could not be without, it would be "Hooligans" by The Who. It was released in 1981. I have it on tape, which I ordered from the Columbia Record and Tape Club. But I have never been able to find that specific album on CD. I've asked about it. I don't think it was ever released on CD. I have a bunch of Who CDs that are almost as good. But none that are quite the complete Who album that I consider "Hooligans."

There is so much freaking rock salt scattered about in my condo. I'm sick of going around vacuuming it up every day. Aside from that, I'm not completely and utterly opposed to this winter. I'm out walking dogs in it, and I kind of like it.

The savant who was the inspiration for "Rain Man" passed away:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10002/1025251-122.stm

It's been a big week for me (which it stands to reason means that it's also been a big year for me) in terms of my relationship with technology. As my vast readership is already acutely aware, on Tuesday I finally got high-speed internet for my personal computer. And having that made it so much easier for me to shop online for my first camera phone, which arrived in the mail today. So, to recap, that's high-speed internet (so fast) and a new camera phone in the same week. It makes me wonder what might happen in 2010. An HDTV? A Mac? Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Baby steps. And this year, I took some big steps forward. In more ways than one.

I've had high-speed internet for over 24 hours, and I haven't gone to one porn site. I guess I'm just a freak like that.

Seeing and spending time with Sidney was far and away the highlight of my time in Florida. I figured that it would be, and it did not disappoint. He was just the best dog he could be. The only thing that I was sad to leave was him. Otherwise, I was more happy to get home from a visit to Florida than I can ever remember being. Even returning to the truly winter weather that has beset Pittsburgh recently. I love Florida. But Pittsburgh is my home. It's where I feel the most comfortable.

It's good to be home . . .

JIM: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Uncle Dave.

Enjoy the weather in Florida! the skin on my legs has begun to get dry and itchy. Very dry. Very itchy. No moisturizer.

Do you have your high-speed internet yet? I have holiday porn to share!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS . . .

DAVE: I think Troy is done. At the very least, he is not anywhere near worth his big contract with him standing on the sidelines.

MICHELLE: What?!?!?! What has brought this about?????

DAVE: He doesn't play a full season anymore. These next two games are critical , and he can't play? Done.

MICHELLE: But I did hear that he signed on with a Hollywood agent….but I can’t imagine him giving up on football just yet.

DAVE: Yeah, I've seen him in more commercials this year than ever before. Good to know that he's keeping busy.

Is it the Madden Curse? Except that Larry Fitzgerald is fine.

MICHELLE: It does disturb me.

On a brighter note, are you in lovely Florida?

DAVE: I am. And it is lovely. The only problem is that as Uncle Dave, I am pretty much the low man on the totem pole around here. I have to sleep on the world's most uncomfortable pull-out couch, I generally don't sleep well here, and last night was no exception, I don't really have any space to call my own and provide some privacy, and everything is about the baby. But Sidney is here, and the weather is warm and humid. No dry, itchy skin today. No need to moisturize. And no socks for the first time in months.

Speaking of drunk relatives, read my blog.

MICHELLE: LOL! Merry Christmas Uncle Dave.

MICHELLE: Very funny – enjoyed catching up on the blog, except for the photo of the chick with very large breast enhancements. What is that about?????

Maybe if you have some vodka and tonic you will be less annoyed by your brother-in-law?? Just a thought. It’s always helpful during my family gatherings.

DAVE: That photo was part of the joke about the Catholics having coffee. It came with the joke. Jim likes seeing hot girls on my blog.

I know. I've tried that before, but I only end up feeling crappy afterward. He does not appear to get hungover. But I do. So, although I am sipping on a glass of Pinot Grigio right now, I'm going to keep my drinking to a minimum. Family gatherings. They are always better when you have the option to leave. When you're all packed into Grandma's house, there's no getting away from everybody. Even now, I'm in my parents' bedroom (which has become the de facto diaper changing room, for some reason), and my mother, father, sister, Evelyn, and Sidney are all in here with me. My sister's husband is outside. Nope, I spoke too soon. He's in here with the rest of us now.

MICHELLE: I know what you mean. We are planning on spending the night at my parents' this evening and I’m wondering if it is wise. But at least there will be visits to other family members in between. Then it’s off to Kentucky. Sigh. Not much time for relaxing.

Does your brother-in-law help with the baby at all? It seems likes he is a functional alcoholic.

DAVE: I really don't understand why people insist on running themselves ragged around the holidays. I swear, my mother has done more work since I've been here than I can ever remember her doing in any 24-hour period. She just won't stop. You can try to talk to her, reason with her, but it does no good. So, I try to help out here and there, but it bothers me that a woman of 71 puts herself through all of the craziness around the holidays.

Jerry does help with the baby. Even as I'm typing this, he just finished changing her and he's "getting her ready for bed." However, the reality is that he's a little passed out right now with his daughter in his arms. He passed out after dinner last night. I don't know what his deal is. I don't know whether he drinks this much at home normally, but he always seems to indulge when I see him. My parents and I were talking last night after they went to bed about whether my sister even notices.

MICHELLE: I don’t know either. All the preparation and it goes by so quickly! I try and remind myself every year to just relax and enjoy, but it never seems to work out that way. And I’m not even the one doing much cooking or preparation! There is just a ridiculous expectation that people try and maintain. It’s craziness. I look forward to Christmas, but it’s also nice afterwards to get back to some so-called normalcy.

Does he bring his own vodka???

DAVE: My mother slaved in the kitchen all day. My sister (who really doesn't cook herself) did not offer to help (that I know of) and even had the unbelievable audacity to ask my mother to watch the baby in the middle of her cooking, while her husband sat outside having a drink and reading, which is pretty much what he does when he's here. The thing of it is, I think, that when they're here, they consider it "vacation" time. And so they just sit back and relax and let my mother work her ass off to accommodate these ridiculous holiday expectations that come from god knows where. They definitely take advantage of her kindness when it comes to Evelyn, and it has been bothering me while I've been here. Because nobody says anything about anything, except in hushed secrets. And he drank a ton again today, only he didn't pass out. Honestly, this has not been a great visit for me so far, and I really don't know if I want to do it again next year. If it weren't for Sidney, I would be looking for a flight home tomorrow.

He drinks the big 1.5 liter bottles of Stoli that my father buys for him to drink. I think he's about halfway through his second bottle.

. . . And the vodka and tonics have begun.

Well, I arrived in Florida yesterday to spend Christmas with my parents, my sister and her husband, their daughter Evelyn, and, of course, my buddy Sidney. Last year when I was here, it was under somewhat different circumstances as I was having some issues with my depression. But this year I come to Florida feeling pretty good. It's been wonderful to see Sidney, perhaps a little less so to see everybody else. I suppose we all have issues with certain members of our family, especially those that may not be related by blood. But suffice it to say that the universe around my parents' pleasant little house seems to revolve around Evelyn, which I'm quite sure is normal. However, it doesn't leave much room for me to even find a place to put my small bag, with baby items scattered about all over the house. Even Sidney's traditional distribution of his toys doesn't compare to the chaos of having a baby in the house. Anyway, that's the way things are, and I will have to just adapt and deal with them while I am here. Meanwhile, I suppose we all have issues with certain members of our family, especially those that may not be related by blood. As he often does when he is on "vacation," yesterday my sister's husband apparently drank his trademark vodka and tonic water cocktails all day long. The good news is that it's Christmas Eve Day at about 10:30 in the morning, and he hasn't had a drink. Yet.

WALLACE!

AND ROETHLISBERGER!

High lead levels in office for lead prevention
Shabby Lawrenceville building's peeling paint is likely source

Sunday, December 20, 2009
By Don Hopey, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09354/1022325-114.stm

So, Pittsburgh got its first significant snowfall of the season overnight. No matter how little or how much snow we get, there are two things that you can always count on. Pittsburgh motorists do not clean all of the snow off of their cars before they hit the road, and they don't turn on their headlights, which are often still covered by snow, even if they are on.

I think my married friends with children have been grumpy lately. Is it the holidays? Are the holidays stressful for people with children? I guess they could be. I'd hate to think that the holidays were stressful for my parents when I was a young lad, but maybe they were. Perhaps I will ask them.

DAVE: I received your politically correct, all-inclusive, environmentally conscious, recycled, and just plain brown holiday card today. Thank you.

MICHELLE: LOL!!!!!!! I love it. Only a few of my dearest friends will actually get that! I did also purchase recycled cards that said “Merry Christmas” as well!

DAVE: You know, considering how "earthy" you are these days, it's somewhat surprising that you don't come home from a day at your job and light up a nice, big, fat one.

MICHELLE: But I am too health conscious. I fear that would get in the way of productivity at the gym!

MICHELLE: You are lucky I didn’t just send a holiday E-Card. I gave it serious thought! Instead I opted to cut down my card output. You should feel very lucky.

DAVE: I do. I do feel lucky.

Interesting article:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20091117/lf_nm_life/us_words_unfriend

The "word of the year" actually happened to me. And apparently, I'm "funemployed," another new word from 2009.

A funny joke from Jim . . .

CATHOLIC COFFEE

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room, people call him Your Grace."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room, everyone says Your Eminence."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room, people call him Your Holiness."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,

slim,

tall,

38D breasts,

24" waist, and

34" hips.

When she walks into a room, people say Oh, My God."

The Steelers are not playing today, thankfully, so my attention is not as drawn to the football on TV as it might normally be on a Sunday in December. I'm blogging instead. I wanted to post a conversation that I had with Jim (aka Mr. Blondie, for you newbies) (That's the first time I've ever used that word, "newbies," in written or verbal form. I don't know how I feel about it.) last week.


JIM: So, over the past two days it's gotten really cold for this first time this year. Both days, I went out to my NEW CAR and the windshield was frosted up with ice.

ON THE INSIDE!!!!

This morning, I actually had to scrape the ice off the inside of my windshield with an ice scraper.

Called the service dept. at the dealer where I bought the car. They said I could bring it in and they would look at it if I really wanted them to, but there was nothing they would be able to do. The manager of the service department said that this is perfectly normal and happens to cars all the time.

Why does this always happen to me? I play by the rules, try to be a productive member of society; have a house in the suburbs with my wife, two kids and a dog; pay my taxes...

DAVE: That has never happened to me, and I lived in Toronto for two years. Maybe it's a trait unique to the Prius.

JIM: It's perfectly normal. There's not a problem at all.


And then we talked about turtlenecks.


DAVE: In addition to corduroys, I'm also a big fan of turtlenecks. Winter wear at its finest: corduroys and turtlenecks.

JIM: I think I might have a turtleneck somewhere. I wear a turtleneck once or twice a year. when my wife makes me wear one under a sweater around the holidays or something like that.

I was grumpy today. And I am rarely grumpy. Like many citizens of Pittsburgh, I was dealing with the reality that the Steelers are not only not going to make the playoffs this season, they really appear to be a team in complete disarray. In every phase of the game. So, rather than a nice follow-up season to last season's Super Bowl, the Steelers are having a down year. A bad, down year. It happens to every team in the NFL, and I would argue that it actually happens to the Steelers significantly less often than any other team. There are few down years for the Pittsburgh Steelers. But this is one of them. And, if you take the same comfort from this that I do, it appears that the Patriots are also a team in a bit of disarray and having a down year. So, it can even happen to the great, evil genius Bill Belichick and Golden Boy Tom Brady. And you know what else you can take comfort in? The Steelers will do what needs to be done in the off-season, and they will be back in the hunt again next season. Because that's what they do after a down year. They don't allow it to become a trend.


It's not like they're the Pirates.

Why Leigh's last name no longer appears in the previous post . . .

AMY: Dude...what if your dream girl goes out to Google and types in her name? The first thing that will come up is your no-longer-quiet observation about her. Not just the delightful sexual encounter (albeit in your subconscious), but also how you think she's old and frumpy and overweight.

I worry, Dave.

I worry.

DAVE: She said she was middle-aged and frumpy. Those were not my words.

Sometimes it's hard having a blog, man. The story is so much better with her real name. It's perfect for the story.

AMY: Well, it's an inconvenient truth, but sometimes I think Al Gore's internet does more to damage relationships than to build them.

But I would find a way to damage my relationships no matter what, so I can't really blame Al.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs . . .

I went to a well-known private school in Pittsburgh from nursery school through tenth grade. And it wasn't until I got to high school that I had my first experience in coeducation. Of course, I cannot possibly describe for you what it was like to finally go to school with girls. It was glorious (cue: "Hallelujah Chorus"). But that's not the point of this post. One of the great objects of my burgeoning adolescent lust was a senior named Leigh. She had the most amazing body that I had ever seen in real life. Typical freshman boy lusting after a super hot senior who only dates the biggest jocks in school. Blah. Blah. Blah. As it turned out, I did get to know her (I was very convincing back then.), and we became friends, and I discovered that she was a really nice girl. Like, really nice. And she played for Jesus and all that. So, I guess you could say that my raging lust was somewhat dampened after I got to know her. But she was still a perfect unobtainable senior for me to enjoy the very sight of strolling, as she did, down the hallway in her corduroys. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. It was 1983, and we weren't allowed to wear jeans to school. So, most of us wore Levi's corduroys, which were as close to wearing jeans as you could get. Well, the girls wore them, too. And some girls could really fill out a pair of Levi's corduroys. I think Leigh wore those Levi's corduroys better than anyone else in the school. At least that's how I've chosen to remember it now. So, anyway, all of this is exposition to the point of this post.

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream in which I found myself going down on Leigh.

In the morning, I was lying in bed thinking, and I was wondering, what ever happened to Leigh? And then I realized that thanks to the wonder that is Facebook, I could probably find out pretty easily. So, I did. I found her. Last night, I sent her a friend request with a little note. Today came her reply:

LEIGH: David, I'm not sure it was a good idea to accept your friend request - now you can see that the girl of your 9th grade dreams is now a frumpy, middle-aged mother of 7! :)
Dare I ask what, exactly, I was doing in your dreams of late? :)


So, I looked at one photo on her profile. Sadly, her description of herself was not off the mark. I was, I'm afraid to say, a little devastated. We're all in our 40s now. We're all middle-aged and frumpy. And a lot heavier than we were in high school. Including me. So, I wrote back:

DAVE: It's funny. Nobody calls me David except my parents and people from school. Anyway, I am so entertained by your profile photo now that I understand that you have seven children. That's really quite a lot, you know.

I didn't look at your photos. I'm not really much of a Facebooker. I only use it as needed. Like to find you. But perhaps I should just take your word for it that you're "now a frumpy, middle-aged mother of 7." You know, keep the fantasies intact and all that. And that's probably about all that I will dare to say regarding what, exactly, you were doing in my dreams.

DAVE: I'm getting high-speed internet on the 15th! Imagine the possibilities!

JIM: http://www.pornotube.com/

DAVE: Did you see the comment on the blog? FF already posted that website. You people are all alike.

JIM: Really?

Of course I saw it. I have never been on pornotube.com, but must admit that I am intrigued now. Let me know how it is.

DAVE: I'm not going to check it out. I didn't get high-speed internet so that I could watch porn on my computer. I got it so that, well, so that I can do everything that I do online now, only much faster.

After Michelle sent me a text last night in which she said that the only person that she really felt sorry for following the Steeler loss was Mike Tomlin . . .

DAVE: I'm going to disagree with you about Tomlin. I put a lot of this season on him. I understand and fully expected a Super Bowl hangover this season. That's why I felt in my heart that it was going to be 8-8. But once Troy went down, we stopped bringing the pass rush, and when the Steelers defense doesn't bring the pass rush, the secondary gets picked apart. It's been that way for years. The great blitzing protects the lousy secondary. Which, I admit, has had a particularly bad year. But Tomlin could have stuck with the pass rush. But he didn't. I'm actually very disappointed in him.

MICHELLE: I don't know, Dave. I don't know what the problem is...

DAVE: They sure as heck didn't unleash hell in December.

MICHELLE: Indeed not. And the more I think about it, I am getting pissed about Troy. He has played in what - 2 or 3 games tops? I hate to say it, but I hope his recent physical troubles are not correlated with his big contract. Probably not, but I'm still cranky.

DAVE: I understand. But I think, regardless of what everyone in the media says, that the defense is worse than people think it is, even with Troy in there. No pass rush and a lousy secondary. I will preach this as long as I live.

MICHELLE: Is LeBeau losing his touch??? Seems impossible. But yes, the defense should not fall apart without Troy. Seems like the secondary and special teams are always the bane of our existence!!!!!

DAVE: Yep. Secondary and special teams. That's it right there.

I doubt that LeBeau will return next season.

DAVE: Meineke Car Care Bowl! Woohoo!

JIM: I was joking with people on Saturday that Pitt would end up in some scrub bowl like the Meineke Car Care Bowl. I am prescient.

DAVE: Well, at least Pitt had a better season than the Steelers are. Wanny should get an extension just for that.

JIM: Did you mean "better" or "bitter"?

DAVE: Oh, I definitely meant better.

I just joined the 21st Century. I ordered high-speed internet, begrudgingly from (media mega-giant and getting bigger after buying NBC from GE last week) Comcast.

And because I know that it can take hours to accomplish something with Comcast on the phone, I placed my order online, using good old dial-up. Speed: 56 Kbps.

My whole life is about to change. Hopefully, for the better.

JIM: I'm wearing corduroys today. Could life be any better?

DAVE: Big day. You're wearing corduroys, and Alan Iverson is coming back to the 76ers.

JIM: The corduroys are comfortable. But it makes me kind of sad to wear them. As it turns out, they are comfortable because they are a size 34 waist and all of my other pants are either size 32 or 33. I have been putting on weight lately because I have no time to exercise and barely have time to eat (and end up eating dinner quite often at odd times like 9:00 or 10:00 at night) and certainly have not been eating as properly as I should. So it turns out most of my other clothes are becoming somewhat snug around the waistline. I have pretty much given up even trying to wear any pants that are size 32 and even the size 33s are becoming uncomfortable. So, wearing my size 34 corduroys kind of makes me feel like I've just given in to getting fat and that's the way it's going to be.

DAVE: A few months ago, I gave all of my 32s to Goodwill. I am a 34, and I've accepted it. You will in time.

JIM: You aren't helping.

I have a confession to make. I live in some degree of fear that the depression will come back. I even have dreams in which I am experiencing depression, and then when I wake up, I am incredibly relieved. It's ironic, because when I was suffering severe depression, I would have dreams that I was fine, and when I woke up to find that I had been dreaming, I was devastated. I feel good now, but this specter haunts me.