The softer side of the lovely Jenn Brown.

Although she's not Pippa Middleton, I must humbly admit that I am smitten with ESPN's Jenn Brown. With that in mind, I bring my readers (particularly Mr. Blondie) "Jenn Brown Week," during which I will feature some of the best photos of Miss Brown that Google has to offer. It will be hard to top today's, I fear. But I am up to the challenge. Sometimes it's what a quiet observer like myself has to do to appease his demanding audience, albeit both vast and loyal.

DAVE: Did I hear that the Phillies second baseman got suspended for 50 games for PEDs?

JIM: Yes. Of course, he has no idea how drugs could have gotten into his system.

Here's a new one though:
I'm listening to the local sports talk station yesterday and they had a doctor on (an orthopedic surgeon) and asked him about Freddy Galvis failing his drug test. This guy, A DOCTOR, said that the substance found in Galvis' drug test is legal in some places around the world, like South America (particularly in Brazil). Apparently, Brazilian women use this particular PED as a vaginal cream. And he claims that there have been scientific studies done that if a man has intercourse with a woman who is using this cream, he can get stuff on his "member" that then will show up in a urinalysis.

So it's conceivable that Freddy Galvis had sex with a Brazilian woman who was using a steroid-based vaginal cream, got some on his "member" and then it came off when he peed in a cup for his drug test.

DAVE: Ah, you just have to love those Brazilian women.

I ate a banana the other day and threw the peel in the garbage. I swear, the next thing I knew, there was a fruit fly in my condo. Where do they come from? I think they come through the sink. They're sneakier than stink bugs.

Brewed On Grant: Mayor's Ban 
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
Written by Rob Rogers

Mayor Bloomberg is trying to fight obesity in New York City by banning big sodas. I wonder what our mayor would do?

JIM: Five people wished me happy birthday on Facebook already today. Do I need this?

DAVE: What have I said about Facebook?

I guess this means that today is your birthday. Happy birthday.

JIM: I just counted and I'm up to 19 birthday wishes from "friends" on facebook. You are the first one though to take the time to send me a personal email.

Well, you and mlb.com.

DAVE: mlb.com is a good friend to have.

JIM: I guess. But they only want me for my money.

Somewhat to my surprise, I was a fan of the show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," even though it was clearly intended for a younger audience (read: kids). Sure, looking at Sarah Michelle Gellar didn't hurt my interest in the show. But that having been said, this recent fascination with vampires completely baffles me. I don't begin to understand why people watch HBO's "True Blood." It's so . . . bloody. And it seems as though every other new movie released these days is about vampires. But I could not just stand idly by without making some sort of comment about the new movie that depicts Abraham Lincoln (yes, THAT Abraham Lincoln) as a "vampire hunter." Now, of course this movie is fiction. But to me, it sullies history. Abraham Lincoln was a lot of things, not the least of which was a great President. But in no world of fantasy or otherwise should he be considered a vampire hunter. Couldn't they have brought Robert Downey, Jr. back to fight vampires as Sherlock Holmes? He appears to be willing to do any movie script that comes his way. I can actually see Sherlock Holmes fighting vampires. Sherlock Holmes wasn't a real person. He's a literary character. Abraham Lincoln was a real person. The President of the United States kind of real. Not a freaking vampire hunter.

JIM: We just hired a new girl named Avis. I am dying to ask her if she tries harder, but I'm not sure that's appropriate.

I don't know how much longer I can help myself.

DAVE: Very funny. Don't do it.

JIM: Maybe I should tell her that I am an Avis Preferred customer.

DAVE: Only if you have a card to prove it.

(Jim does, in fact, have the card to prove it. I saw a copy of it.)

As you may have heard by now, Jane Orie is going to jail. The cover-up is always worse than the crime.