Dave and Mom emailing about TP . . .

Dave: What kind of toilet paper do you use? Quilted Northern?

Mom: Yes, I think that is the one, why?

Dave: I'm changing toilet paper, and I thought I might try what you use.

Mom: I have found it to be much softer, it does not shred, and you don't have to use as much because it is thicker.

Dave: Well, that must be the "quilting."

At this weekend's "Obama Bowl-o-rama" . . .

Now, this guys knows how to run for President.

Check out the shoes.

Stainless, yes. Smudgeless, not so much . . .

Stainless steel kitchen appliances are all the rage right now. And I'll be the first to admit that I think they look pretty sharp. But have you noticed how easily they get smudged? Try having a dog that sticks his wet nose up against the appliances all of the time. Smudges, my friends. Lots of smudges.

Is the race about race in Pennsylvania?

Hillary may have gotten the endorsements of Uncle Ed, Uncle Dan, and the Boy Mayor, but it looks like the Senators are sticking together, with Senator Barack Obama getting the thumb's up from Senator Bob Casey Jr. this morning here in Pittsburgh.

Out of alignment . . .

Do you know what happens when an old school road of cobble stones is paved over with about four or five inches of asphalt? I like to call it a "recipe for future potholes." In Pittsburgh, they call it "road surface management."

Seriously?!

Goodbye and thanks for coming . . .

Even though Barack Obama is vacationing with his family in the Virgin Islands while Hillary Clinton is running all over the state of Pennsylvania campaigning, I'm done with Hillary. I have seen her appear in interviews too many times where she doesn't sound sincere to me. She sounds too staged, like she's holding back and keeping it simple. Like Gore. Like Kerry. She's a tough lady, and I wish she would run for President like one. I have been very disappointed in both her campaign and her in general. So, I'm finally ready to throw my complete endorsement behind Obama. I suppose in the scheme of things, despite some lack of years in politics, he's still far smarter and more qualified to be President than Bush ever was. Now, he just has to keep up his tough and intelligent talk, and defeat the crazy old Little General. A tall order, to be sure. Is America ready for an African-American President? A black man in the White House?

I hope so. I really do.

I think someone has been having a little too much fun with her color printer . . .

This just in . . .

www.stamps.com is not exactly what you would think it would be.

And the winner of the St. Patrick's Day flair contest is . . .

Today's blog post is number 200. There should be cake . . .

I tawt I taw a putty tat . . .

Adult swim . . .

Even though it was from a movie, Gertrude keeps looking for a magic pool that has alien pods sitting at the bottom of it.

After spending some time in the Homeland Security Yukon . . .

Go ahead and throw me some beads, but I'm not going to show you my . . .

It's all about the green, baby . . .

Dan, where is that nice young man with the Homeland Security Yukon? I could sure use a drink. I feel like I'm the only person at this parade who isn't loaded.

At Friday night's Democratic jamboree . . .

Overwhelmed by the excitement of being invited by Uncle Dan and Uncle Ed to sit on the big boy stage with Hillary Clinton, the Boy Mayor started leading the crowd in a rousing version of the Village People's classic 70s disco anthem "YMCA."

Dave goes Downtown . . .

I've just returned from one of my rare, daytime trips to Downtown Pittsburgh, and I must say that I don't like going there. The Downtown skyline sure does make for a picturesque view, but at street level, it's dirty and dreary, and you can't navigate the discarded chewing gum mottled sidewalks without having to weave your way in and out of hoards of loud, often cigarette puffing folks congregated around popular bus stops. I see many more people milling about, waiting for buses than I see "business people" going about their, well, business. Maybe I don't go there often enough to have a true notion of what Downtown is like on a day-to-day basis. But from what I do know, I'm glad I've never had to work there.

I used to love Pittsburgh. I just don't anymore.

And speaking of political "indiscretions" . . .

I suspect we'll be seeing "more" of this gal in Playboy in the coming months. I hear that appearing naked in the magazine can be good for the career of a hot and sexy young woman trying to make it in New York City.

We still love the guy . . .

WHAZZUP, BILL!!!

Do you have daughters? Uh, I have some bad news for you . . .

I must not have had nearly enough sex in my lifetime, because I don't have any STDs. I feel a little left out.

St. Patrick's Day: a day for the children of Pittsburgh . . .

Today the Boy Mayor of Pittsburgh announced that this year, in an effort to make this Saturday's annual St. Patrick's Day Parade more "family-friendly," the City plans on enforcing the law against people walking around with open containers of alcohol. Now, the parade is an event notorious for bringing hoards of folks downtown on Saturday morning donned in all shades of festive greenery and beadery to drink all day and into the night. It's probably the most activity that downtown Pittsburgh sees all year. Many years ago one of my oldest friends met her husband in Market Square on just such an occasion. But the Mayor says that people won't be able to walk around with their green beers in hand this year.

So, my question is where is the Mayor himself going to be drinking his green beer on Saturday? Do you think he "borrowed" the Homeland Security Yukon again?

Is this the last we've heard from Twanda Carlisle?

Today is the day that former Pittsburgh city councilwoman Twanda Carlisle will begin her sentence of one to two years on corruption charges.

Plenty of time to get some sharp-looking tats to always remember her time inside.

Friday night in Bradenton . . .

Do you want to know what it's like to watch the Pirates at Spring Training in Florida? Last night's game got rained out and they shot off fireworks.

Just like here.

March in Pittsburgh . . .

I just love Pittsburgh at this time of year.

They should really be wearing scarves . . .

You see, Jim. Ugg boots are very fashionable, even in Alaska.

I hate inflation . . .

In the last two years, the price of my favorite frozen confectionery treat has gone up 15% at Giant Eagle. Sure, the price of cable TV has gone up, so has electricity, and postage, and natural gas, and, of course, gasoline. But why Popsicles? What are the Popsicle-loving children of our society supposed to do if their families can't afford a 15% price increase?