Nougat is a thing.

Did you know that the ceremonies before NFL games where a giant flag is unfurled during the national anthem are a violation of the rules regarding the proper use of the American flag? It's true. And no one says a thing.

No, Donny Boy. You're the son-of-a-bitch.

Trump is a lot of things, all of them bad. But the fact that he is a racist asshole just really rubs me the wrong way. Keep alienating the minorities, Don. That's just the encouragement that they need to go to the polls in 2020.

All self checkout lanes at any store should have a ten item limit. No exceptions.

Poptarts

I wonder if you ever stop liking Poptarts. Especially old school flavors that have been around since I was a young lad. I don't even go near the new, funky flavors. No, sir. Just strawberry and brown sugar cinnamon for me. The frosted ones, of course.

Jim fights the man . . . men, actually . . .

Yes, well, yesterday I called a parts place to try to get the tail light that I need to replace on my son's car from when he hit the mailbox. I told the guy I had a 2005 Volkswagen Jetta.  He said there are two versions:  one for 1999-2005 and one for 2005-2010.  And he needs to know which one I have.  How the fuck do I know?  So he tells me that one version has a bigger grill in the front of the car than the other.  So how the fuck does that help me?  How would I know unless I had pictures of both versions to compare to.  He offers to wait on the phone if I want to go out and look at my car.  That's big of him.  Why the fuck would Volkswagen make changes in the style of a model of car and then have the years overlap like that?  Shouldn't there be a version from like 1999-2004 and then 2005-2010?  So then I had to actually drive there today so they could tell me which part I need, only to then tell me they don't have it in stock anyway.  So now I have to drive back tomorrow and get it before driving to New York.  And another $58.30 sunk into this car.

While I was trying to take care of this issue over lunch, I also decided to try to resolve the issue with the plaque for the trophy for our fantasy baseball league.  I ordered the update for the plaque (with Brad's name on it as last year's champion) back in March.  But I haven't received it yet.  Every time I go to the website of the company we order from, I log into MY account using My username and MY password and it has MY information there and it says the status of MY order is "Processing".  Well, it's said that for three months now.  I have tried on several occasions to call the place and no one ever answers the phone and I give up and live to fight another day.  So I called again and, surprisingly, got no answer.  But there is a place on the website where you can send them a message through the site.  So I tried doing that.  Surprisingly, that didn't function at all.  But, not to be dissuaded once again and wanting to finally resolve this issue, I dug around and found an email address that I could send a message too.  So I sent a polite email asking for an update on the status of my order.  Rather quickly, "Bob" responded to me.  At first, "Bob" seemed to be my friend and seemed like he was genuinely interested in helping to resolve my problem.  But (spoiler alert!) Bob is rapidly becoming my enemy.  I provide Bob with my name and my order number (which was already in the initial email I sent, but hey, whatever it takes) and Bob responds by saying that they have no record of me in their system.  I politely tell Bob that I can log in to their website with the username and password that I established several years ago for my account and I can see all of my information.  Bob responds and says they have no record of me in their system and suggests that I must have placed the order with a different company.  I see now that Bob is not really my friend.  So I forward to Bob, the emails I received from their website three months ago with my order confirmation and the invoice.  I guess Bob didn't expect someone as anal retentive as me who saves every email.  Anyway, Bob again says that he has no record of me in the system despite the overwhelming evidence I have provided (where the hell did the order confirmation and the invoice come from then, BOB?  HUH????) and asks me to send a picture of my trophy.  HOW THE FUCK IS A PICTURE OF THE TROPHY GOING TO HELP RESOLVE THIS?!?  I believe it is just another ploy by Bob so that he can say that if I can't give him a picture of the trophy then there's nothing more he can do and he can wash his hands of this whole sordid mess.  However, again, Bob underestimates me.  It turns out I can come up with multiple pictures of the trophy and I supply Bob with all of them.  That was at lunch yesterday and Bob has not responded again yet.  Unbelievable.

Holy shit. How did I get here again?

I love Florida. But there are a couple of things that I don't like about it. Number one on that list is sharks. Sharks like hanging out off the coast of Florida about this time of year. The things on the left are thousands of blacktip sharks. On the right are some beach bathers.

Happy 47th birthday, Jennifer Aniston. I almost missed it. You were always my favorite friend.